"I don’t regret my past; I just regret the time I’ve wasted with the wrong people.”

There is someone new in my life...I dont wanna jinx it but....*cues beyonce*

"everybody asks me why Im smiling out from ear to ear..." 

;-) <3 :-) <3 :-D

havent been this happy in a while.

Update Post

So I havent blogged in forever =\ My once a week rule went completely out the window...please forgive me!! This is just a quick update post. Im still in school (got A's on my first 2 tests by the way!), still coaching (the girls have learned their competition routine. first comp december 11th!), and still working.

I went to my school's homecoming last week...I had so much fun! I definitely thought I was going to go down there and party like it was my senior year again....i was beyond wrong lmao. Every night I was tired at like 12:30 and every morning i was up by 9. I think I'm getting old =[

Here are some pics of that weekend!

Me & my linesisters <3

All in all it was an amazing weekend =]

Rule #3

Rule #3 You Have to Be Cruel To be Kind. 

As you all know, I've been assistant coaching JV cheerleading since July. I absolutely love it. Cheerleading is my passion. Seriously. Although I only cheered for 4 years (2 years middle school, 2 years varsity) I became quite good. AMAZINGGGGGG motions, pretty jumps, and I was a kick ass back. Im proud to say, after 4 long years of not cheering...I STILL GOT IT. Heres where this happy nostalgic story ends.

I love my JV girls. But they are EXTREMELY lazy. So lazy it annoys me. Like...we had Hell Week a few weeks ago (basically extreme boot camp) and they finished the week out amazing. Jumps were so much better, motions were....alright, they had begun doing elite stunts, they had perfect pushups (they do them every time the football team scores), and were making progress with their tumbling . I was so proud of them. 3 weeks later and they look like the bottom of my shoe. All of the hard work they (and the coaches) put in isn't apparent anymore.

What pisses me off is that they have the potential to be phenomenal. They are one of the most advanced JV teams I've ever seen. Id be perfectly fine with them looking like shit if I wasn't aware of their potential....but I am, so Im not. Im the nice coach. I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way because I know how sensitive teen girls can be. But those days are over.

I've learned that with this particular group of girls you HAVE to be a drill sergeant. I have to be cruel to be kind.

I want them to go to competition and place. Hell...I want them to go to competition and WIN. If being the mean coach is what will motivate them to get there then Im more than willing to sacrifice their 'like' towards me. I want them to take this seriously. They want to be seen as athletes, they have to work to prove they're worthy of the title.

Today I got cursed out by an old lady.....for no reason. -____-

Busy Bee

Sorry I've been MIA loves!

Last week I started grad school AND work. These obligations along with cheerleading have had me busy 24/7. Grad school is so much work its ridiculous. There is so much reading to do! Im taking 3 classes (which is considered full time in grad school world) and each week i have to read 1-3 chapters per class AND do assignments. Ive been swamped.

Anywho, things should slow down some next week. Im trying to get at least 1 week ahead in my readings so that I will have more free time. In the mean time I going to try to post at least once a week until I get in the swing of things.

I promise all this time management I've been doing is EXCELLENT practice for medical school!

later gators <3

He invaded my dreams again last night. Why wont these memories die? Why wont they leave me alone?

How to Love.

Today is my parents 24th wedding anniversary (it is also my daddys 48th birthday!). I am forever grateful for them. They are the perfect example of what true love and compromise are. They taught me what it is to love.

This is an interview i did with them as part of a black marital relations class i took last semester (by far my favorite class EVER). Its a little long but i found some of their answers really interesting. I hope to learn from their trials and tribulations and who knows....maybe one of you will too!

**although this was a black marital relations class i think a lot of this wisdom is relevant to ALL people. I've bolded the things that I think you'd guys would care about most. enjoy!

M=mother F=father I=interviewer

I: Ok, so this is my interview for Black Marital Relations class. These are my parents, Dallas and Robin. I’m going to ask you guys a few questions…how long have you been married?

F: 23 ½ years.

I: How did you become a couple, and also what attracted you guys to each other?

F: Um…I was in typing senior year and I had some work I had to make up.

M: How do you make up typing??

F: Well…anyway (laughs) I had some work to make up and she was in the class. I asked my friend if he could try to get her number for me.

M: Instead of typing the entire class, he stood and stared at me the entire 45 minutes.

F: She acted like she didn’t see me looking at her…but I know she did!

[laughter]

M: So that’s how it all began. Right before spring break of our senior year.

I: At Hampton University…well at Hampton Institute.

M: In Phenix hall.

I: So what attracted you to him?

M: I think his eyes…I liked his droopy eyes.

I: What attracted you to her?

F: She was fine man…beautiful young lady.

[laughter]

I: So what would you identify as strengths of your marriage?

M: Communication.

F: Yea, communication. You gotta say what’s on your mind, even if the other person doesn’t want to hear it you have to say it.

I: What can you identify as some special strengths that African Americans might bring into their marital relationships?

F: Um, I don’t know if it’s an African American thing, I think it’s with any relationship that its important that you understand how each other feel about big picture things like family. If one person comes from a really close family and the other one doesn’t… if there’s not an understanding of those things before you decide to become a couple it can become an issue. If you want to have kids…what you think about kids…

M: What holidays you celebrate…all of that makes a big difference in your marriage.

I: What are some special challenges or problems that you have experienced in your marriage?

M: I think pretty much when you stand before God and say those vows, we’ve pretty much gone through every aspect of those vows in our marriage. For richer, for poorer, for better, for worse…you know all of those things are more than just words.

F: Yea and your challenges are different as you grow older. You’ve experienced different things, you are going through different things, different things bring you joy, different things are distractions depending on how old you are. So as you get older the distractions become fewer, issues become fewer…

I: Yea because you guys were married young.

F: Yes!

I: 23.

M: Very young.

F: EXTREMELY young.

[laughter]

I: Fresh out of college.

M: Pretty much…

F: Just about.

I: What can you identify as some unique challenges or problems…wait, I just asked you that didn’t I? Ok, next question. In what area do you feel that you have had to make the greatest compromise due to your marriage?

F: Wow…compromise? I don’t feel like I really had to compromise very much. I mean because you know the thing is, like I said as you get older the things you like to do change. I think when I was younger I don’t think I had to compromise, I think that was one of the things like…I liked to go out a lot, Robin didn’t like to go out as much soooo…I didn’t go out as much as I probably would have if I was single [laughs]…but she didn’t like say “ You cant go out.” That kind of thing, so I mean I don’t really feel like I had to sacrifice that much. And whatever I had to sacrifice was worth it.

[laughter]

M: Yea I don’t think I’ll elaborate on that one… [laughs]

I: I thought I asked you guys this question, but I didn’t. What can you identify as some unique challenges or problems that African American couples in general might experience?

F: Well I mean, you know we live in a society where you as an African American have many more opportunities then say your parents or grandparents did. But the things that are underlying in American society that impact African Americans are big picture things…education, employment, income, wealth. Those things have not changed. So you have to be cognoscente of those things and adjust accordingly. It makes a difference in how you raise your children and how much you make them aware of those things. But those are the things that haven’t really changed. On the surface popular culture may make you think that they have. I know there’s a Black president but the drop out rate in most districts that are predominately African American is still about 50%. And those are the things that we uniquely as African Americans against other minorities, particularly Latinos may have to deal with. Those are the foundational things…Do you agree?

M: I agree [laughs]

I: How do you manage your money? Like who pays the bills and/or decides how money will be spent and are you satisfied with this arrangement?

F: For the most part we decide how money is spent together, but she is MUCH better at handling the money than I am.

[laughter]

F: And I’m ok with that [laughs]

M: When we started out, we pretty much each had our own bank account. He was responsible for things and I was responsible for things. And um…it didn’t work so well doing it that way. So I kind of took over the finances and I pretty much  make things happen.

F: Yes she does.

M: Any major purchases that we do, we decide together. Its not like one person just goes out and…

M/F: …buys a car!

M: That’s a problem [laughs]

I: How do you handle domestic responsibilities in your family? Like, who does what? For example, care for the children, housework, etc…and also are you satisfied with this arrangement?

M: I pretty much do everything..

[laughter]

M: No, he does help. He does a lot of the outside work. Sometimes I have to remind him or you know say “why don’t you pick that up?!”

F: It’s pretty much the traditional male/female familial roles for the most part. I help out when asked or needed.

[laughter]

I: You cook breakfast on Sundays!

F: That’s right!

M: and I do appreciate it.

[laughter]

I: Do you believe in the traditional notion as a man as the head of the household? Why or why not?

F: I mean, I do simply because that’s how I was raised. As I’ve gotten older and have become more aware of the scripture, I think that’s kind of how God created everything. There are certain roles, nobody’s role is better than the other. They’re just different. That’s what I think.

M: Well that’s pretty much the same way I think. I grew up in a traditional household and I think the man should be the head of the household.

I: How do you spend your leisure time?

F: Wow…I really don’t have a whole lot of leisure time. Leisure time is just really…nothing! [laughs] Chilling!

M: Leisure time like relaxing at home and attending family events.

F: Pretty much. Like I said, as you get older you’re not trying to go out here and go out there. When you have time that you’re not working or trying to get something done, you’re just enjoying your time at home.

M: Well leisure time will change shortly because now that the kids are almost gone…one is pretty much out of the house and the other is heading that way..

F: Were almost empty nesters! That will change everything!

[laughter]

M: We’re going to start date night.

I: What things do you do on a regular basis to keep your marriage strong and healthy?

M: Pretty much just letting each other know that we love each other.

F: Yea again, communication is key.

M: We talk a lot. We laugh a lot.

F. The ritualistic kind of things, I think it’s more of a constant communication thing that makes the difference more so than saying, “We’re going to do this every Tuesday night.” Even though there’s nothing wrong with that and that’s always helpful. But I think the constant communication, give and take time together is really the thing that’s key. Being honest and true with your thoughts and treating each other with respect.

I: What do you think is/are the most important ingredients for a successful marriage?

F: I mean, you look at other people relationships, and you never really know what goes on in someone’s home, but I think that people have to understand that it aint easy! Sometimes you have to work through stuff. I mean, stuffs gonna hit the fan. It just does. That’s life. And sometimes people don’t take the time to remember why they got married. They get don’t get past those things. I think most times people could get past things, but its pride or some other thing that really don’t matter that gets in the way.

M: I think a lot of that comes with communication. Having fun together and just supporting each other.

I: What advice would you give to a black couple who is preparing for marriage that you think would increase their likelihood of having a satisfying and lasting marriage?

M: Don’t do it!! No I’m just kidding [laughs]

[laughter]

F: The thing is this, I think that people need to understand that grown folk don’t change! That’s the first thing. If you go in there and someone has a habit that you cant stand, its gonna be there.

M: It will NOT change.

F: So you need to understand that it’s a part of the package, ok? Now people do grow, and they grow out of things and they change, but it’s only when they want to change. Don’t try to change people. And if you’re mad, say you’re mad! Don’t like hold it in.

M: Right. You can’t walk around not speaking to each other.

F: Yea if you’re mad, say you’re mad.

M: Try to never go to bed angry.

F: Be careful of the words that come out of your mouth…you can’t take those back. At the same time, remember that it’s hard. Words sometimes hurt, but sometimes you have to look past the words and listen to what someone’s heart is telling you.

I: And lastly, in general, would you encourage black adult males and females to marry? Why or why not?

[laughter]

F: Yea.

M: I would.

F: Again…it aint easy and I think that people expect it to be. And that’s the fallacy. That’s the trick.

M: And not only that, I think children need both parents. I think they need to grow up in a happy house with both parents.

F: I think it even goes deeper than that. That’s the way this was designed. A man and woman are supposed to marry and become one flesh…be fruitful and multiply. That’s how it was designed. I think that if people follow the things that the Book says about how you’re supposed to deal with each other in a relationship…and this is strictly my opinion, usually the problem is that people get mad and their ego’s get in the way. Because the scripture says for husbands to love their wives. I truly believe… I firmly believe …it says “honor them, love them, and treat them with respect.” It doesn’t say anywhere for women to love their husbands. Because I truly believe that if a man loves and honors a woman, she will love and honor him back. I think that that’s just how were all wired. But that’s just me…what do I know?

[laughter]

M: I definitely agree with that.

F: Here’s the thing, if there’s an issue, just based on the way that we’re wired as men and women, often times, if the man does not take responsibility to make that step, the step is not going to happen. I mean, that’s just how I think of it. As a man you’re sometimes responsible for things that aren’t your fault.

[laughter]

F: That’s just part of the package.

M: And sometimes you’re responsible for things that ARE your fault.

F: That’s true.

[laughter]

F: But either way you’re responsible.

[laughter]

I: Well thank you guys very much, that concludes my Black Marital Relations interview. I appreciate your time…thanks!

The Perfect Description

Reading this book called The White Woman on the Green Bicycle, I came across this beautiful dialogue and had to share.

It begins with a daughter asking her father the secret to staying married for a long time:

"Why did you marry mum?"

"Because she was a dish."

"The world is full of beautiful women. Why her?"

"She was for me."

"What do you mean?"

"Your mother filled up the frame. I couldnt see anyone else but her, no one around her or past her."

"Did that ever wear off?"

"No, it got worse."

"How?"

"Well, then love comes. You can fancy lots of other people. But the heart is small and fussy: it knows exactly who it wants. You only have room in it to love one or two people in a lifetime."




**maybe im just a sap...but i thought his answer was absolutely perfect. such a beautiful thing. ::sighs::

The Help

I urge all of my readers to go see (or even read) The Help.

Personally I love history. I love learning about my roots, I believe it gives me a stronger sense of self. But lately I realized a lot of Americans dont feel the same way. Black people dont want to talk about slavery, segregation, etc. because they believe pretend it doesnt exist anymore. That was all sooooo long ago. Lets just forget it happened. White people dont want to talk about those same issues because quite frankly...it makes them uncomfortable. They dont want to be blamed for views that their ancestors may or may not have had because they themselves may have very different views as children of the 21st century.

Let me throw this out there. Separate but equal was not that long ago. In fact Jim Crow laws were only declared unconstitutional about 50 years ago (even though some states didn't truly integrate their communities until years later), most of our parents were alive during this time. They lived our history.

Now back on topic, I think The Help did a wonderful job of portraying this taboo-like time in American history. Set in the 1960's the movie [and book] depicted certain relationships between Whites and their Negro help. What set this movie apart from other similar works was that not only did they show the brutal acts of racism so many of us are used to (and quite frankly tired of) seeing, but they showed that love and friendship were in fact able to transcend color boundaries during this period. Not all Whites who had Black maids were evil. Thats just the way things were done. In many situations the employer and the employee grew to love one another. They became family.

I think its crucial that we as Americans dont forget this part of our past. I think The Help is a movie that people of ALL races should see. Forgetting the past does not effectively allow us to move on as a nation. We need to accept it. It happened, we cant change it, but we can learn from it.

An older west indian neighbor of mine said she was urging her friends and family to see the movie. "We didnt have anything like that in Jamaica. A lot of times we dont understand exactly how bad things were here." I'd never thought of it like that. I didnt realize that just because I know a lot about something doesnt mean that other people do. Her comment opened my eyes.

So now I am urging ALL of my readers to go see the movie or buy the book. Just because something is uncomfortable doesnt mean you should ignore it. Just because you dont talk about it doesnt mean that it doesnt exist in 2011. Educate yourselves. Open your eyes to our history. Grow from the past, allow it to motivate your future.

"If you don't know where you come from, you wont know where you're going."

Morning Thoughts

I dont think I've met him yet.

Who? My husband.

Dont get me wrong...I've been head over heels in love. In fact, I still am [but thats another post]. Its just...all of the guys I've met have been selfish as hell. When I look at my parents relationship...they love each other unconditionally. Even when they fight. Even when they argue. Its all irrelevant to them. Their love shines through and they never let the bullshit affect their family. They get over it. They realize that they have to work hard to get all that they want out of their relationship...and they have no problem doing so. They share a common goal. They compromise.

I've never met someone who was willing to do that for me...or I them. The dudes I've met havent been husband material. That kind of scares me. Sure I've met someone that I would absolutely adore spending my life with....but deep down I know it wouldnt be right. He's too selfish to love me the way that I need him to. Hell, he's too selfish to love me the way that he wants to.

The good thing is...I think I'll know it when I finally do meet him. The one guy who will make all of the others seem insignificant. The man willing to work for our love.

I know he's out there.

100 Days Till Graduation

Ive never blogged about this but here goes. At my alma mater it is tradition for the senior class to celebrate "100 days till graduation". Actually....I think I have to take it back even further. My alma mater has a tradition of naming its classes. The names are Onyx, Quintessence, and Ogre Phi Ogre. Each year the freshman class takes the name of the senior class. My class is Onyx 8. When I was a freshman the seniors were Onyx 7. Last year [my senior year] the freshman were Onyx 9.

Back to the 100 days celebration. Onyx 8's 100 days was absolutely ridiculous. Our class decided to wear all black everything since we're black diamonds [the most PRECIOUS stone!]. I started my day off at 8am. Me, my roommate, and some friends went to breakfast [you cant drink on an empty stomach!]. Next we went to the liquor store. We each got personal bottles [smh]. My drink of choice was patron. The $25 bottle. It was all for me. We were a little behind schedule so we rushed back to my friends house. We had to be in the student center at 12pm for the festivities and it was about 11 when we got back to the house. We had to drink fast!! I finished that entire bottle all by myself...in under an hour.  Straight liquor. Salt. Shot. Lime. I went hard that day.

We walked over to the student center and it was fucking insane. Everyone was so emotional...we had waited years for this day! DJ Tay James even came back to DJ the event for us [he's a hampton alum and  justin bieber's official DJ now!]. The 45 minutes that I remember were freakishly amazing. Then I woke up in my bed...and it was 6pm. Supposedly i got carried out of the student center and someone drove me home. Super embarrassing but at least I wasnt the person throwing up on stage lmao. Its college...you only live once right? That was the first time Ive EVER been that drunk. And I never want to be that drunk again. The good thing is I had no recollection of being sick and since I was drinking quality liquor I didnt have a hang over at all.

I truly went out with a bang. I had the time of my life [from what I remember]. It was awesome. Im awesome. My class is awesome. We partied like rockstars.

***OH and i forgot!! the old guy towards the end of the video is our president lmao. someone told him that our 100 days celebration was really a birthday party for him!! They gave him a cake and everything  hahaha!

Every Little Thing That We Do..

...Should be between me and you.

In an age where there are a billion ways to communicate one of the most difficult relationship hurdles has to be learning how to keep your relationship private. Not everyone needs to know your business. In fact, the more people who know the most intimate details of your relationship (positive or negative), the easier it is for people to tear you down. Most people dont have your best interest at heart already...why make it easier for them by entertaining games? Why would you be the ROOT of the drama? Newsflash:: people arent laughing with you...theyre laughing at you.

People who thrive off of drama and/or popularity are like C list celebrities. Every few months they pull off "publicity stunts" in order to keep those around them interested in their lives. They desperately want need to stay significant. This can go either way. You can gloat to the world about how absolutely wonderful your love life is...or you can go off about the issues plaguing it. Either way, most people could give a fuck less. Its nothing more than entertainment and some people will even pretend to care so that they can get even more juicy details.

These C listers have sparked my curiosity. What is it that makes them so thirsty for acknowledgement? Is their relationship so dry that they are simply looking for ways to jazz it up? Do they need the approval of their peers to ensure them that they are making the correct life choices? Does this build their self esteem? Or is it simply a scheme to assure the pubic that their relationship is and will be successful?

Personally, I think its time to question your relationships validity if it has become 25% love, 50% proving other people wrong, and 25% publicity stunts.

When it gets to the point that you are college educated [or over the age of 20] and are engaging in internet drama its time to reevaluate your goals. Ask yourself "How old is too old to act like I have no damn sense? When is it time to grow up?"

Random Macbook Flick.

I Think Im Just About Over...

Im over giving him chances to grow up. Its clear to me now that Im in it for the history....not because I love him. We're just so different. Two different people from two different worlds. How could I love and spend my life with someone who has never witnessed a loving, successful relationship up close? Lately I've been testing him. Starting random debates just to see where his head is at. He's been failing miserably. We have completely different views on how a man should treat a woman and vice versa. There are some things that you just cant teach a person. Through our debates I see he lacks commitment. He's quick to bail out of tough situations....at least in regards to relationships.

....And he uses the word bitch. I hate it. And I've told him so. His answer is always the same, "but I dont call you a bitch." He uses the word so freely that I highly doubt that he's never used it in reference to me when talking to other people.

Its a shame. I really thought we could make this work. But I dont even feel sad at this point. Im indifferent. I think Im just about over it.

Sometimes you have to stop forcing it. Just acknowledge that the love is gone. 

Finally!

Guess who is officially employed???

Thats right...ME!!!!

Im so happy. Everyone who knows me knows how stressed I have been over this job situation. Finally my hunt is over....exactly 3 months to the day of my graduation. I graduated May 8th, meaning May 9th was my first day in the real world. Today is August 9th. In hindsight I dont know why I was so panicky. Finding a job only 3 months after graduation isnt shabby at all. The woman that I interviewed with yesterday said that her daughter has been waitressing for 2 years because she hasnt been able to find anything that pays well post-grad. Wow. This alone makes me realize how blessed I am. I will continue to keep the rest of the class of 2011 in my prayers every night as we each go out on our various journeys.

Hair Talk.

Its been 2 1/2 months since my last relaxer and a 1 1/2 months since the last time i put heat on my hair. My hair has grown soooo much since i started my heat free hair diet, i LOVE it!! Today I came up with my transitioning (relaxed to natural) plan. Im excited...I think this may actually work.

1) Ill get my hair trimmed every 3 months (the first time will be at the end of august). Ive noticed a lot less split ends since I started using Cantu Shea Butter Leave-In Conditioner and African Pride Olive Miracle Anti-Breakage Formula, so it may not be completely necessary to trim my hair this often. For now this is my plan because it will allow me to gradually get rid of my permed ends while maintaing a length that I am comfortable with. I think trimmed hair tends to look healthier anyway.

2) I will only allow myself to put heat on my hair one week out of every month.

3) In November I will get a weave. November will mark 6 months post relaxer for me. That is around the time that I usually get a touch up so I figured getting a weave would counteract my urge to go back to the creamy crack. I had my first weave last April. I loved it but I started missing my own hair after a month. I think this also has to do with the fact that it was pretty hot in Virginia and I couldnt wash my hair as often as I would have. But since it will be pretty cold in November I dont think Ill have that problem this time around. My plan is to keep the weave in until February (3 months).

4) I may big chop for my one year in May depending on how long my hair is. Im not comfortable with short hair so this is huge for me. If May comes around and Im not satisfied I will big chop in November 2012---the year and a half mark.


Im excited to continue on with my hair journey. I cant wait to see what my hair looks like. Ive been staring at my pictures pre-relaxer (birth-age 12) imagining what it will look like =]

Fashion too Forward?

Meet 10 year old French model Thylane Blondeau. These photos were featured in a spread in Vogue and have set the world by storm. So many people are upset that this little girl is portrayed wearing high heels and lipstick while posing provocatively for the camera. One photo was even done topless.

No one can deny that little Thylane is beautiful and is budding with incredible talent...but come on man. A topless 10 year old? The fact that there are pervy grown men out there getting off on her pictures makes my stomach turn. Under no circumstances should a 10 yr old be sexy. Im sure there are tasteful ways in which Thylane could nurture her talent until she is old enough to accept these sorts of jobs. In a world full of sin I would hope that a parent would attempt to protect his or her child's innocence for as long as possible.

What do you guys think? Would you be okay with your little girl doing racy photoshoots if it meant a life of fame and fortune for both you and her?

***This story was featured on Good Morning America. I heard about Thylane from Necole Bitchie.

Blog On Fire!

I was awarded my first blog award ever by the lovely Carrymel!! Thank you so much, this made my day! Everyone should check out her blog =]

The rules say that I need to tag 10 people. Here are a few of my favorite blogs:

Bianca at I Heard You Were Looking For Me

Abigail at As I Am

Asia, Kimberly, and Soraya at FWB

Erin at Things Erin Said

Katie at Oh, Heyy Life

Kristen at Pure Joy

Little at Romantically Challenged

Dr. Lil at The Doctor's Office

Mama Bear at The Little Bee

Ashley at Lofty Desires

Next they say I have to share 7 random facts about myself. Here goes:

1) I am obsessed with the color purple. If it's purple, I'll buy it. Seriously. I have purple nail polish remover, listerine, spray starch, wallets, slippers, mirrors, etc. I love it!

2) I have a birth mark on my neck thats shaped like a tiny heart <3

3) I want to be a doctor so badly that it hurts. But I want to have a successful family one day even more.

4) I love knowing random information, I google everything.

5) Im probably the most stubborn person ever. Nothing you say to me will ever change my opinion on anything.

6) I have to go to Greece before I die.

7) I am a hopeless hopeful romantic.

Id like to thank all of my readers for supporting my blog thus far. To all of the people that I tagged, its your turn now! Tag 10 blogs && share 7 random facts about yourself. GO! =]

Random Macbook Flick.

A Change of Attitude

My mom always says that I act like a dude. I hate talking on the phone, Ive grown to hate texting...I just dont like being bothered with people! Until recently this approach has still allowed me to have a pretty rich social life. Ive always had a shitload of friends. A ton of people who love and care for me. Now that we dont see each other everyday [we're all pretty much spread out all over the country], I realize that it will be extremely easy for some of these friendships to end if I dont make a conscious effort to do better.

Ive been trying my absolute best to keep in touch with the people I love. Im usually pretty horrible at it. I mean...i did a horrible job of keeping in touch with my friends from high school when I went to college. Sure we hung out on breaks, talked on facebook, and later followed each other of twitter...but that was the extent of it. I even lost touch with some of my best friends =[ I know Im not entirely to blame because communication is a two way street, but I definitely could have put more effort into reaching out.

Now that Ive graduated college its even more important that I get into the habit of periodically checking in on the people that I love. Ive been doing pretty well the last month or so and I really hope that I can keep it up. Ive met entirely too many special people to let certain friendships whither away. I hope that once I get into the habit of reaching out to my friends, my friends will develop the habit of reaching out to me. And soon, it wont be something that I need to make an effort to do...it will be second nature to me.

Wish me luck!

Rule #2

Rule #2 Pull your head out of your ass and stand out.


So many times I lose sight of the big picture because I am too bashful to reach out and grab the star I've been dreaming of. Im way too caught up in my own shyness to put myself out there. Why is it that I'm so self conscious when it comes to being in the spot light? Its weird really...I grew up on stage. There's no reason I should be this shy!

Like seriously..who the hell am I to think that everyone would be so worried about what I'm doing that I cant be myself?! NO ONE! I need to remember that while I sit here all antsy and nervous, no one is paying attention to me. Confidence is key and even if I am nervous, it doesnt have to show. Im a big girl now. I need to suck it up and grab my dreams by the horns! I need to shine as I was intended to before someone else steps in and takes hold of the dream that I built. The one that was meant for me and me alone.

I am beautiful, intelligent, goal driven, and hard working. I Jazmyn, am hereby pulling my head out of my ass so that I may reach my full potential =]

its wednesday (actually thursday now), Awkward came on tuesday night....i know, i know...i owe you guys a post about Rule #2. its coming!! i just dont really feel like posting right now =\ most likely it will be up tomorrow (or today?), but yea, look out for it!

how many of you watched and fell in love?! i really wish the show was an hour long instead of the measly 30 mins MTV is giving us.

<3 jaz

My 1st Vlog: The Hoe Talk

Here is my first Vlog!! I hope you guys enjoy it and I hope it makes you think a little. I was extra nervous lol! Please excuse me for looking a hot mess. Ive been trying to get this to work alllllll dayyyyyyy longggggggg!

**peep my NY/country blended accent smh. those 4 years in virginia got me sounding crazyyy lol!

Sistah, Sistah.

Being a good role model is one of the most important things in the world to me. I dont have any biological sisters and growing up I always wished that I had an older sis to help me through all of my growing pains. Sisters share such a special bond. They fight, then love again. They laugh, then cry. They are best friends. They are there for one another.

My alma mater is a pretty small place. There are only about 5,000 undergraduate students so everyone pretty much knows or knows of one another. Its like a little family. Tradition is huge at Hampton U. One of those traditions is the Big Brother/ Big Sister, upperclassman/underclassman relationship. Your big brother or big sister is usually an upperclassman who is either assigned to you or  just thinks youre cool so he or she "adopts" you. Their job is to look out for you. Give you rides when necessary, tell you which teachers to stay away from, party with you, etc etc etc.

I never had a big sister in school (although I did have some pretty bomb big brothers) but I know how influential a positive female role model can be in a girl's life. I was blessed to adopt some wonderful little sisters during my time in school. They range from rising seniors to rising sophomores, from the east coast to the mid west, from studious to party animals lol. I love them.

I try to be someone that they can look up to. It is possible to party and make the deans list. Dont mess with that guy. That girl is not your friend. Dont mix your liquor. That skirt looks great. Join a club!---you get the point. All of my littles know that they can come to me with any problem or issue. I cherish the bond that I have with them and I am beyond happy that they are growing into responsible, intelligent, ambitious, gorgeous young women.

Im learning to sit back and let them make their own mistakes. I see some of them walking in my exact footsteps and it scares me sometimes. I dont want them to learn things the hard way the way that I had to. I dont want them to get knocked down before they build themselves up again. But those experiences made me the person that I am today. I offer my take on situations only when they ask me to. Deep down I know they will be okay just like I was. Theyre tough girls...I trust their judgement.

*The fashionista

*The chill one

*The diligent one

*The babyyyy

*The go getter

*The photographer

*The girly girl

*The future president

I love my girls =]

Rule #1

So today a new show called Awkward premiered on MTV. I freakin love it! It reminded me of Juno a little. But anyway, the show is about a teenage girl who has a huge accident that everyone mistakes as a suicide. Prior to her accident someone sent her an anonymous letter basically explaining why she sucks at life and a list of things she can do to fix her suckiness. I decided that Im going to blog along with her list each week, so here goes!

Rule #1 Stop being such a pussy.

This is by far the hardest lesson that Ive had to learn in life. Im always putting the feelings of others before my own and a lot of the time it ends up horribly for me. My mother always told me that I was going to grow up and let people walk all over me if I didnt develop some sort of backbone. As a teenager I took this advice as her just being a bitch [dont judge me, you know teen girls ALWAYS have mommy issues lol]. But now as a young adult I realize that she is absolutely 100% right about this. This realization was actually the inspiration for my blog back in 2009!

After a lifetime of being a sweet, loving, girl, I found myself thrown into an environment (college) where not everyone had my best interests at heart. I was devastated upon finding out that in the real world: nice girls do finish last.

This is a constant struggle for me. I dont like being a bitch. I dont like hurting people's feelings. I dont like always putting myself first. But it is absolutely necessary at this point in my life. If Jazmyn doesnt look out for Jazmyn, who else will? I know that I will always have my back...I could never disappoint myself.

Not being a pussy has been good for me. Im more confident. I cry a lot less. I smile a lot more. Im done feeling degraded by people who try to put me down. I will not tolerate it anymore.

Im happy.

"You can call me Whitley, I go to Hillmannnnnn"

Well my name isnt Whitley, but i did go to the fictional school from A Different World, Hillman College. It was based off of my real life alma mater Hampton Institute/University. I absolutely LOVED my HBCU [historically black college and university] experience. I wish I could have experienced HBCU life in the 80s...Hillman College looked too live!

PS: Indirectly, I am Whitley! Since I was named after the lovely actress pictured above--Jasmine Guy!

This Made Me LOL.

Lil Boosie's daughter freestyling. Lord help us all lmao. She's actually better than a lot of "rappers" out right now though. Ill give her that!

Its hard having friends who love spending money when youre unemployed. It actually really really really really sucks. I need a job...like yesterday.

Hope you guys are keeping me in your prayers!

  

"your talent is God's gift to you. what you do with it is your gift back to God." -leo buscaglia

Random Macbook Flick.

Today I went to the bank with my mother. I needed to get a form notarized.

Mom: Jaz get out your ID. Shes going to need to see it.

Bank Lady: Oh no, actually ma'am I need to see your ID...not hers. She's a minor right??

**awkward silence**cue crickets**

Me: Im 22...

Bank Lady: Oh my!! I thought you were 13 or 14!! 15 at most!!

Me: -_________-

Seriously?? 13?! I do NOT look like a prepubescent girl! I know I look young, but thats just ridic. I've heard that I look 16 or 17 (i get carded EVERY time i go to the movies)...but #comeonson

Bunched Panties.

Someone close to me just unfollowed me on twitter for saying:

"all these tats yall getting are going to look PRETTY hilarious when your skin starts sagging."

LOL. its not like i was lying. I mean, I have 3 tattoos.. but theyre all in places that you cant see. In other words, when I'm old no one will be able to see the sag. To me, placement is key! I always say all of my tattoos must be wedding dress approved.


Its funny that people want to voice their own opinions so strongly via twitter, but they get upset when other people do the same. My friend is one of the most outspoken people that I know. Im surprised that this simple tweet got his/her panties in a bunch.


Oh well. Tis life.

Dreamt of him all night long. Damn you first love.

City Nights.

Im surprised im not totally and completely hung over right now. Last night my friends and I went to Blockheads in the city. It was my first time taking the train all summer...i dont know what I've been doing with my life! But anyway, Blockheads is a Mexican restaurant that has the most amazing drinks everrrrr. Last night my drink of choice was called the Pink Bulldog. Vodka topped with sangria with a corona to top it off. The ultimate adult pink lemonade =] After one i had a little buzz....so of course I ordered another lol. I also had a shot of Jose Cuervo (YUCK, im a patron kinda girl). We were having so much fun that we completely forgot it was a Tuesday night. The restaurant closed at 11 so we walked a few blocks over to times square. There were so many tourists oh my God. Its so annoying trying to work your way around lost people, picture takers, slow walkers, etc. We ended up going to this Irish pub, and guess what....our bartender was really Irish! Not "of Irish descent" Irish, but legit, grew up in Ireland, went to school there, "Im only in America for a few months" Irish!! He was soo cute and his accent was gorgeous. All in all it was a great night!

Inspector Jazmyn.

i have a terrible habit of searching for information. i cant help it. just call me inspector jazmyn.

today my boofriend got into a pretty bad car accident. he's halfway across country and he called me from the emergency room. thank God he's okay. but a few minutes ago i decided to stalk his ex-boofriends twitter [dont judge me]. she tweeted about his accident....what?? last i heard he had no contact with the brawd. for him to contact her after something tragic means that they must talk pretty often. hmmmm.

i wonder who his ass called first.

Future Dreaming.

Hi my name is Jaz....and I am addicted to Wedding Shows.

Seriously.

My favorites are Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings, both on TLC. These shows have me planning every detail of my wedding from the dress to the reception. The crazy part is...I dont even have a boyfriend yet lol!! Just a boofriend.

sigh. What's a girl to do? My fairytale is so close, yet so far away. I can almost taste my wedding cake! Who is willing to get married so I can attend your wedding and put a temporary end to this insanity?? Pretty pleaseeeee??? lol

Although im no longer 21, i will admit that Forever 21 remains my guilty little pleasure! Pia Lashay is hosting a gift card giveaway on her blog! You can find out more information here 

Goodluck Dolls <3

Giving Back

So this week I started volunteering as the Junior Varsity Cheerleading Assistant Coach. Im so excited to see where this season will take the girls! I was a varsity cheerleader my junior and senior years of high school.....and I loved it. It became such a huge part of my life that I still miss it to this day. I chose not to cheer in college because I knew they would try to make me a flyer (the girl they throw in the air) seeing as im barely 5'5 and relatively slim. NOT GONNA HAPPEN lol! I may be small but was a pretty great back (backs are usually tall) back in the day. Anywho now Im back at home and one of my close friends and former teammate is Head Coach of JV at our old school. I asked if she'd like my help this year and she excitedly agreed.

Those girls are HILARIOUS lol, I can tell im going to love them dearly. They have tons of passion and potential. I love that. The cheerleading program has grown stronger and stronger over the last 5 years or so. We've won competitions and are finally receiving the recognition we deserve! Our girls work so hard and Im excited that people on Long Island actually respect them as a squad.

Im sore as hell tho. It started raining about 45 mins into our practice today so we ended early...RIGHT when i was demonstrating how to put up a lib. My mom says that was God's way of "telling me to sit my old ass down" lmao -____- . I will DEFINITELY be in shape by the end of this summer, which is great because i think Im getting a little pudgy =\

Hope everyones week is going well =]

4th of July Stoop Party.

Happy 4th of July weekend loves!! I kicked my weekend off at a little get together. We made a drink called the "Stoop Party" that was actually really good! We didnt do much, just enjoyed each others company. Those are often the best nights =] Here is the stoop party recipe and some pics:

Stoop Party

-Equal Parts:

*Absolut Brooklyn

*Gingerale

*Cranberry Juice

simple right??

ΔΣΘ, ΑΚΑ, ΩΦΒ Greek Unity <3

Me && my bestie

My Girls =]

Have a great (AND SAFE) Holiday weekend guys!!

My Week at a Glance.

Havent blogged all week...but then again I havent been doing much. I did manage to revamp my blog though...i kinda love it =]

Heres a mini synopsis of how my week is going:

1. Im still looking for a job. The post college job market has NOT been good to me =[
2. Ive decided to live a little healthier. Being stuck in the house all day results in me snacking all day long. Snacking + Sitting on your ass 24/7 is NOT a good combo lol. Ive  been trying to stop eating just because Im bored. My weight isnt a serious issue for me right now, but I realize that its a lot easier to keep it tight than it is to get it tight! My mom and I have also resumed our walks...we did 2 miles today =]
3. I saw Bad Teacher today. Pretty funny, I laughed a lot!
4. I tried a braid out on my hair yesterday. It came out HORRIBLE!! However, I did it over today and Im in love. I know the more I do them the better they will look...This may be my go-to hairstyle this summer! 

*** i realize my room is extremely childish lol.. but those dolls are collectors items!! i will give them to my daughter one day =]

Dead Weight

Now that Ive graduated from college I realize that I can stop pretending to be friends with people I have no interest in knowing. Im talking about people I havent spoken to since freshman year who I smile at if I pass them on campus or act cordial to if we happen to bump into one another. I dont have to do that anymore. In fact, I dont ever have to speak to or acknowledge these people ever again if I dont feel like it.

I dont have to give people pity follows on twitter, I can delete them on facebook. Its not that I have a problem with these acquaintances....its just that they add nothing to my life.

Its sort of refreshing really. Getting rid of the dead weight.

My first Bantu Knot Out!!! My hair is still relaxed but Ive decided to try out a few natural styles this summer to help me decide if Im going to transition or not. I love this style and knowing that it would look even better if I was natural makes me want to just go for it. Hmmmm.

Random Macbook Flick.

This is my girl Te'mi (also a Hampton U alum). I know there have been a million Marvin's Room remakes in the last few days, but her lyrics are so real. They speak to me. Check her out ;-)

so Reagan Gomez retweeted me on twitter today...


...for those who dont know, I FREAKING LOVE HER!!!!!! Not only is she beautiful, but she's an amazing mother and wife. I love how she always puts her family first.


she definitely made my day ^_^

story of my life... getting drunk and talking shit. happens to the best of us i suppose. anyway, i love JoJo's remix of this song. I kinda wish it was hers and not Drakes...

"fuck that new girl thats been in your bed, and when youre in her i know im in your head."