Why I Hate Religion, But Love JESUS.

Letting Go...?

Is there a difference between letting things go and being fake?

If you let something go without truly resolving the issue at hand.....are you really over it? Or is it in the back of your mind, weighing heavy on your heart while you smile like everything is alright?

I wish I had the answers to these questions.

Im not the type to hold on to bad feelings. Im always the one encouraging everyone to make up and get along...but this time...this time is different.

Im hurt. I've seen sides of people close to me that I never fathomed existed.

And now...now everyone is acting like things are back to normal.

Am I a bitch for thinking that they will never be normal again?

Am I horrible for not wanting them to be after the things I've seen?

A Wish, A Hope, A Thought.

"sometimes you pray by accident. a wish, a hope. a thought."- The White Woman on the Green Bicycle

Last year one of my New Year's resolutions was to pray daily. I've always had a relationship with God, but once I went to college it sort of dwindled. Being a hard headed teenager, I thought I could figure things out by myself. I mean seriously...how could God help me ace that ridiculous organic chemistry test? How could He heal my broken heart? What does HE know about boys?

Dont get me wrong. I definitely acknowledged all of the great things that He did for me, but I felt like when it came to making things happen in my life I was on my own. It was my responsibility to figure things out....alone.

I'd find myself praying if and only if shit hit the fan. And I'd be angry. "Im a GOOD person, I have a GOOD heart!!! Why God? Why are you letting this happen to me?!"

Then it hit me...I needed to not only put my trust in God, but I needed to let Him know that I trusted Him. I needed to thank Him for the things that He did for me daily, and to pray for the things I wanted to accomplish in the future. I needed to stop living the 'woe is me' lifestyle and take charge of my life. I needed to be proactive.

The day that I began actively praying was the best day of my life. Im happier than I've ever been. I've stopped sweating the little things. I now count my blessings and not my misfortunes. I realize that everything happens for a reason and that what God has in store for me is amazingly worthwhile. The road to my destiny may not be easy, but I now know that every single thing that happens to me on it is designed to make my victory sweeter. Nothing is by chance.

This year when I sat down to make my New Year's resolution, I couldn't really come up with anything profound. Although there are a ton of little things that I need to work on, I don't think any can match my decision to strengthen my relationship with God. This relationship has encouraged me to better myself daily. Life is easier now. Im growing, living, laughing, and loving. Im all smiles.

Happy New Year everyone!! What has been your most life changing NYR?