Im Ready.

Tomorrow is my big move from NY to Baltimore.

For months I've anticipated this. As soon as I got my grad school acceptance letter my mom and I went crazy buying things for my apartment. I was sooo excited! Not only did I get to move out of my parents house and finally start my adult life...but I was actually really amped to get into public health... and I would be closer to my boyfriend!

Last saturday I realized that I had exactly one week until move in day. And I freaked out. Seriously...I was suddenly so sad. I realized that this would probably be the last time I'd ever live in the house I grew up in for an extended period of time. I mean...I went to college all the way in Virginia, so I'm used to being away...but this just felt way more...permanent. Being an adult scares me. Honestly, I don't really feel grown. How come no one told me that 24 feels like 18 [but with wayyyy more freedom] lol?! I was also nervous about the way my move would change my relationship. I've never been the kind of girl that is attached by the hip to my boyfriend. I like my space. But I've also never been in a serious non-long-distance relationship (yes I just made that up) as an adult. I know from watching my friends that in typical non-long-distance relationships couples are together quite a bit and they seem to enjoy it. What if I don't adapt? Will we just fall into a routine naturally? Will I grow to want to spend all of my free time with my boyfriend?

I can't say for sure...but I think that my fears are normal [please tell me they are lol]. Today, on the eve of my move...I can say that I'm excited again. Im ready to go and live my life. Im ready for new experiences. Im ready to be a young woman exploring a big city [that isnt New York]. Im ready to find myself. Im ready to grow.

Now we'll see how I feel about this when my parents leave and I'm left in my apartment alone twiddling my thumbs lol...but for now...I'm ready.

You, Me and Us.

The hardest part about being in a relationship to me is maintaining my individuality. Dont get me wrong; I loveeeeee being an 'us'. But I do feel like in the age of social media/technology it limits me as a person.

I havent blogged in months.

Truth is...I havent felt like I could blog without people taking the things that I write the wrong way by equating my random thoughts to some sort of discord within my relationship.

I mean...I am allowed to think...right?

Every tweet I send creates an uproar of gossip and speculation. Every random song lyric, every revelation, every opinion, every lesson learned...has become a reflection of my relationship.

Is it possible to be an 'Us' while maintaining my 'Me'?

Or is this a sacrifice that I will have to make in order to be with the man that I love?


...sometimes a thought...is just a thought.

Too Cool For School...Or Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is coming up!!! I've always loved Valentine's Day...there's something beautiful about celebrating love...be it with your significant other, family, or friends.

I'm used to seeing and hearing bitter comments from people who wish they had someone to celebrate with...but lately...I've been seeing bitter comments from people who are actually in relationships!

Never have I seen such a holier than thou attitude. I've heard so many women say, "I don't get the big deal, me and my boyfriend celebrate EVERYDAY." How on Earth could you attempt to put someone down for being excited? Does this mean that if your boyfriend doesn't get you anything you'll be fine? Yeah...ok.

Just because you and your honey bask in Valentine's Day and all its commercialism does not imply that your relationship is otherwise boring and stagnant.

That logic is just silly to me....I mean...I'm thankful year round....does that mean I should stop celebrating Thanksgiving? lol

Take that stick out your ass and lighten up people. No, Valentine's Day should not be the only day that your sig other makes you feel special...but that doesn't mean you cant celebrate! It's the one day out of the year that the majority of people around you are also celebrating their love. That's what makes it special. Universal love day.

...And stop trying to downplay other peoples relationships by bigging up your own. Who are you trying to convince that your relationship is perfect and happy 365? Me?? Or yourself??

There is someone new in my life...I dont wanna jinx it but....*cues beyonce*

"everybody asks me why Im smiling out from ear to ear..." 

;-) <3 :-) <3 :-D

havent been this happy in a while.

Every Little Thing That We Do..

...Should be between me and you.

In an age where there are a billion ways to communicate one of the most difficult relationship hurdles has to be learning how to keep your relationship private. Not everyone needs to know your business. In fact, the more people who know the most intimate details of your relationship (positive or negative), the easier it is for people to tear you down. Most people dont have your best interest at heart already...why make it easier for them by entertaining games? Why would you be the ROOT of the drama? Newsflash:: people arent laughing with you...theyre laughing at you.

People who thrive off of drama and/or popularity are like C list celebrities. Every few months they pull off "publicity stunts" in order to keep those around them interested in their lives. They desperately want need to stay significant. This can go either way. You can gloat to the world about how absolutely wonderful your love life is...or you can go off about the issues plaguing it. Either way, most people could give a fuck less. Its nothing more than entertainment and some people will even pretend to care so that they can get even more juicy details.

These C listers have sparked my curiosity. What is it that makes them so thirsty for acknowledgement? Is their relationship so dry that they are simply looking for ways to jazz it up? Do they need the approval of their peers to ensure them that they are making the correct life choices? Does this build their self esteem? Or is it simply a scheme to assure the pubic that their relationship is and will be successful?

Personally, I think its time to question your relationships validity if it has become 25% love, 50% proving other people wrong, and 25% publicity stunts.

When it gets to the point that you are college educated [or over the age of 20] and are engaging in internet drama its time to reevaluate your goals. Ask yourself "How old is too old to act like I have no damn sense? When is it time to grow up?"