"Post-Racial" Black America.

Our Black brothers are raping our Black sisters,

Degrading them by calling them bitches and hoes.

Our Black sisters are devaluing our Black brothers,

Stripping them of their crowns with statements like “Niggas aint shit.”

Our Black children can no longer remember what a two-parent home looks like.

The vision of an independent, hard working mother

And a lazy, nonexistent father is all that they know.

Our Black princesses no longer wish to grow into Black queens.

They long to be the king.

Strong, in charge, and single,

Because they “don’t need a man for shit.”

Our Black princes no longer know what it means to be a king.

They no longer yearn to provide, protect, and facilitate their future families.

We’re killing each other over sneakers and petty altercations.

We have become stagnant as a people.

Content with the Civil Rights advancements made 50 years ago.

We see no room for progress.

We see no need for it.

We belittle our history,

Choosing to ignore the fight of our ancestors,

Attempting to undermine the contributions they made towards building this nation.

We no longer see the struggles of our Black brothers and sisters as our own.

We try desperately to distinguish ourselves from the color of our skin.

We are embarrassed by our Blackness.

Instead of embracing the physical diversity of our people,

We separate ourselves with comments such as

“I don’t like light skinned boys” or “I don’t like dark skinned girls.”

We have enslaved ourselves by becoming ashamed of who we are.

We are “Post-Racial” Black America.

"I don’t regret my past; I just regret the time I’ve wasted with the wrong people.”

The Help

I urge all of my readers to go see (or even read) The Help.

Personally I love history. I love learning about my roots, I believe it gives me a stronger sense of self. But lately I realized a lot of Americans dont feel the same way. Black people dont want to talk about slavery, segregation, etc. because they believe pretend it doesnt exist anymore. That was all sooooo long ago. Lets just forget it happened. White people dont want to talk about those same issues because quite frankly...it makes them uncomfortable. They dont want to be blamed for views that their ancestors may or may not have had because they themselves may have very different views as children of the 21st century.

Let me throw this out there. Separate but equal was not that long ago. In fact Jim Crow laws were only declared unconstitutional about 50 years ago (even though some states didn't truly integrate their communities until years later), most of our parents were alive during this time. They lived our history.

Now back on topic, I think The Help did a wonderful job of portraying this taboo-like time in American history. Set in the 1960's the movie [and book] depicted certain relationships between Whites and their Negro help. What set this movie apart from other similar works was that not only did they show the brutal acts of racism so many of us are used to (and quite frankly tired of) seeing, but they showed that love and friendship were in fact able to transcend color boundaries during this period. Not all Whites who had Black maids were evil. Thats just the way things were done. In many situations the employer and the employee grew to love one another. They became family.

I think its crucial that we as Americans dont forget this part of our past. I think The Help is a movie that people of ALL races should see. Forgetting the past does not effectively allow us to move on as a nation. We need to accept it. It happened, we cant change it, but we can learn from it.

An older west indian neighbor of mine said she was urging her friends and family to see the movie. "We didnt have anything like that in Jamaica. A lot of times we dont understand exactly how bad things were here." I'd never thought of it like that. I didnt realize that just because I know a lot about something doesnt mean that other people do. Her comment opened my eyes.

So now I am urging ALL of my readers to go see the movie or buy the book. Just because something is uncomfortable doesnt mean you should ignore it. Just because you dont talk about it doesnt mean that it doesnt exist in 2011. Educate yourselves. Open your eyes to our history. Grow from the past, allow it to motivate your future.

"If you don't know where you come from, you wont know where you're going."

so ive been MIA the last week or so. i randomly decided to take a mini vacation to virginia . it seemed like all of my friends were having such a great time together and i was sick of reading their tweets about how much fun they were having without me! lol

all in all it was a great few days. i got here on wednesday and im leaving today. in fact im in the airport right now. i got to spend time with my linesisters from wednesday to friday. had a few drinks. acted a little crazy lol. then on friday night i went to spent the weekend with my hunny. hes down here training for his new job. im so proud of him like...hes a legit grown up now LOL! we had such a good time. i really think this could turn into something good despite all of the crazy shit weve been through the past 2 years.

im finally learning to let go of the past and embrace my future. its wonderful.

Living For The Weekend.

My little brother experienced his first heartbreak last week. He didnt say much about it (i found out through facebook lol) but i can tell he was upset. His first high school love.


Its funny how things seem so devastating in high school. A break up seems like the end of the world. That is....until a real life, grown up heartbreak slaps you in the face. I thought I found love in high school, I really did. Then I fell in love for real. Its crazy how your emotions mature in a few short years. The things that were oh so important back then, just dont matter anymore. You have a whole new set of wants, needs, and desires. I think the difference is...when youre grown, you are living for a goal [your purpose]. You know what you want out of life for the most part, and you begin to think of ways to make those things happen. In high school...youre living for the weekend really. "Living for the weekend" in the sense that the only things that truly matter are your friends, this party, that test, this vacation, etc. You arent thinking longterm in high school....at least I wasnt.


Things are so much easier in high school. There arent as many disappointments...because you havent really set many expectations [goals].


Sometimes I miss the days when I was simply "Living for the weekend." Although it didnt seem like it at the time, things were so much easier then; but mostly I appreciate the growth Im experiencing living for my purpose.

Silver and Gold.

"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold."

Who knew this song i learned in girl scouts so many years ago would be so relevant today? Just because someone new has entered your life doesnt mean you have to drop all of the people who loved and cared for you in the past.

In this particular situation....it shows me you arent ready to move on. You know if you stay in contact with me you'll be head over heels again. Its funny having this new prospective on things... the realization that I have this power over you.

Nice knowing Im not the only weakling when it comes to us.

Who runs the world?? ;-)

I Want That Old Thing Back...(i think??)

sometimes i think ill never be 100% happy like i was at one point in my life.

why am i such an ingrate? i mean...i have everything going for me. im in school, i have a great family, a couple of friends who are always there for me, wonderful sisters, the whole shabang. there are a ton of people in the world much worse off than me...right?

then why do i feel this way?

like im not getting everything i deserve from certain people and out of life in general =[

dont get me wrong i thank God everyday for how far Hes brought me and for everything Hes done for me. i dont understand how i can know all of this and STILL feel the way i do urghh.

i think my problem is..that im comparing my current life to my old life...and its not quite matching up. i thought some changes that i made were going to be for the better...but now im not so sure.

will i ever be able to get that old feeling back?

The Miracles of the Heart

sigh. do you ever completely get over someone who once had your heart? in my book...true love is indestructible. it is everlasting.

despite this...it does change over time. you may fall in and out of love...but you still love him. how could you not?? times weren't always the worst, and at one point he made you smile.

your love may bend and morph. it may allow you to fall in love with someone else. but a portion of it stays with him. it is his, and his is yours. this is unavoidable to me. no matter how hard you try to talk yourself out of it. no matter how hard u try to act like it doesnt phase you when you think hes moved on...you still feel some type of way. at least i do. and i know its the same for guys.

the things our heart is capable of smh.

to be able to hold past, present, and future loves...all in the same being. its remarkable really. none of them go anywhere. they just change according to your physical and mental needs...and make room for another love.

like when parents worry about bringing a new child into a family. they wonder how they could possibly have enough love to go around. how could you possibly be able to love your new baby as much as you love your first? they worry. and then as soon as they see their little ones face, their love instantly multiplies.

the same is true with relationships. you may think that you could never love someone as much as you loved him. its impossible right?

wrong.

one day youll meet a new him. and you'll fall in love again. your heart will make room for this new energy.

no one will be able to replace your past him. and thats ok.

just make sure you realize that you CAN love again. its not impossible ladies.

Who is She to You?

Who is she to you?

A question that so many of us have found ourselves asking time and time again. Always in the back of our minds, the past continuously coincides with our futures. No matter how hard we try, no matter how fast we run, we cannot escape ourselves.

The past is what makes me who i am. I came to the conclusion a few days ago that i dont regret anything thats ever happened to me. All of the heartaches, all of the pain, all of the laughs and lessons learned all make me me. They are the reason that i am able to hold my head high today. The reason i glide when i walk...the reason i am ready for other people to notice the beauty thats been within me all along.

The past defines our relationships. His past, her past, your past all become one the moment that you trust another person with your heart. The things he learned from her, he will carry on and share with you. The mistakes you made with him, you will try your hardest to do things differently this time around. The past should ultimately help you grow into the woman (or man) that you want to be. Both your trials and triumphs will help mold you into the perfect imperfection that someone is longing for.

What do you do, however, when the past is hindering the growth of your relationship? Its not that he has given any cause for alarm, but that she is still trying to fight her way into your picture perfect frame.

As a woman, i am extremely receptive. I notice and remember EVERYTHING. Its not that i go out of my way to be a private eye, i just cant help it....its in my DNA.

What we dont pick up on, our friends do. They become our eyes when we are blind and our ears when we are deaf. Friendship is a beautiful and necessary part of life. But its almost as dangerous as it is wonderful. Friends can "help" you discover things that you never really needed to notice. They put thoughts (and sometimes lies) in your head in an attempt to help you. Just to ensure that you wont get hurt again. Unknowingly pushing you straight into heartbreaks arms.

Pre-heartbreak comes distress. Your past is on my mind nonstop. I find myself asking the same question over and over again: Who is She to You??? Each day, my distress grows a little more, while i struggle to maintain my smile....to ignore it. I realize that i can not erase the past, and i never will attempt to. But i cant help feeling like your past should have some level of respect for your future. I shouldnt have to feel uneasy every time youre not with me. I should be able to trust you freely and whole heartily.

...But your past is causing me to slip into my old ways. Its giving me reason to reconnect with all of the tendencies and emotions that i thought i had left behind. Your past is pushing me further into mine.

You have a decision to make.

Back Then They Didnt Want Me...

Why is it that people dont appreciate what they have until its gone? Yea it may sound a little cliche, but really think about it. Im sure all of us can come up with at least one instance where we wanted something simply because of the 'if i cant have you, no one can!' take on life.

Ive undergone alot of personal growth throughout the past year [which you have all witnessed]. Im so much more comfortable with who i am as a person. I carry myself differently. I smile more. I appreciate everyday that God gives me. And i think it really shows.

Over the last few months, almost every man that Ive ever been involved with in my past has come figuratively, knocking at my door...ironically around the same time that I began to fall for someone new.

"youre the one that got away"

"my biggest regret is letting you get away"

"ive always loved you."

womp mutha effin womp....believe me, ive heard it all before.

At first, i was flattered. All of the attention that i was suddenly getting made me feel special. I mean, what girl doesnt dream of a man who hurt her saying 'baby, i was an idiot...you were the best thing that ever happened to me!' But then i started thinking...why now?

What was it that suddenly knocked some sense through his thick skull? Was it that he truly realized that he had a deep love for me? Was it that his new relationship just wasnt working out? Or was it that he simply saw how happy i was--with someone else?

Regardless of his reasoning...ladies, remember that people are in your past for a reason. At one point, he didnt live up to your expectations, he hurt you, and/or he didnt appreciate the love that you gave him. Im not saying that all break ups are permanent. It is possible for two people who were in love at one point, to fall in love again.

But that doesnt mean you should make it easy for him. Protect your heart. Tell him that in order for you to even think about letting him back into your life, hes really going to have to show you that hes changed. Dont feel like you have to be intimate with him...ultimately you are in control. You control how hes going to treat you. You control whether hes going to have to the power to break your heart again. Make him work for your forgiveness.

Dont drop the new man in your life for a past love. Your new man has been there for you...hes helped pick up the pieces that your old man left behind. Hes enabled you to love again. Dont forget all that hes done for you! And dont give up your new life for someone who didnt appreciate your old one. No matter what sweet nothings hes whispering into your ear now, remember all the bullshit he was spittin back in the day. All of the lies, all of the broken promises.

Keep all of this in mind when your past comes knocking at your door.

"Back then they didnt want me...now Im hot, they all on me."

What Do You Do?

What do you do, when you dont know what to do?

Im so afraid. Im afraid of the goosebumps that i get when you touch me. Of the butterflies that magically appear when you pull me closer. Of the way i can get lost in your arms....

I am afraid of you.

Each day i feel myself falling for you a little bit more. I find myself kissing you a little bit longer, hugging you a little bit tighter...subconsciously trying to become one with you...and i love it.

But still im afraid.

What if i fall, but you remain standing?

I mean...i promised myself that i would never ever let another man do to me what he did. Never again will i let anyone hurt me like he did. And you promised me that you wouldnt.

But im afraid of the unknown.

Is this thing, this me&you, this us going to work? You knocked down the wall around my heart, and im trying SO hard, to let you love me...to let you care for me. Im trying SO hard to reciprocate that. But my past continues to haunt me. It lurks in the corners of my mind waiting for something to go wrong. Waiting for you not to call, to forget all about me. Waiting for me to be alone again.

What do you do, when you dont know what to do? When you find yourself running from both your past AND your future? What do you do when youre trapped in the now, at a standstill...when life is seemingly passing you by?