Evolution.

I turned 25 on Sunday.

...and honestly...it was the best birthday ever. I just finished my first year of grad school (and I'm pretty sure I got straight A's). My boyfriend and closest friends threw me the sweetest surprise party (complete with Patron cupcakes). I got a fitbit (currently obsessed). Overall life is pretty awesome right now. 25 is going to be a great year.

But as I enter a new chapter in my life, a new quarter century, I can't help but reflect on the last. There's one thing that stands out to me as being completely different at 25 than it was at 24. My inner circle.

After college, I tried desperately to maintain friendships that were near and dear to my heart. I'd text, call, send smoke signals, whatever. Anything to save the friendship from dying. It took me a long time to realize that I was fighting to save relationships with people who weren't willing to do the same for me.

At first...this hurt. A lot.

Then I realized that people change. We outgrow one another. We find ourselves, and lose others along the way. We grow up.

This year I noticed these changes in the ways people wished me a happy birthday. Some people who used to call, simply wrote me on Facebook. Friends who used to celebrate with me, ignored my brunch invite. Etc. Etc. Etc.

I'm not hurt anymore.

I realize that more than likely this isn't personal. Although I'm sad to say goodbye to friendships that at one point meant the world to me...Im excited to make new friends. To grow closer to the ones who are still around. To experience everything this new 25+ life has to offer. Im ready to keep growing into the woman that I'm meant to be.

I'm choosing to live in the now. To enjoy every single moment that I'm blessed with, with the people who currently love me the most. I will forever be grateful for the things these past friends have taught me. And I'll probably always consider them friends. Who knows? Our paths may indeed cross again one day. If you can grow apart, you can surely grow together...right?

Buckle Up.

No...you haven't seen a ghost.

For months I've been contemplating the direction that I want my blog to take. Writing was so easy when I was going through hard times. But now that things are good? Not so much. It took me almost a year to realize that it's okay to be happy. To not have some heart wrenching story to tell. It seems I had lost sight of why I started this blog in the first place...for me.

For now this blog will simply be a day by day account of my life. Sometimes it may be boring. Sometimes funny. Sometimes happy, sad, exciting, WHATEVER. This blog will be about me :-).

I'd definitely like to incorporate vlogs. And I definitely want this blog to be a true representation of my 24 year old self. 23 was such an amazing year for me; Im really sad that I didn't document it better.

I'm going to do a separate post about whats been going on in my life since the last time you guys heard from me (September 2012).

I'm excited for this new journey and I hope you all are excited for the ride!

A Wish, A Hope, A Thought.

"sometimes you pray by accident. a wish, a hope. a thought."- The White Woman on the Green Bicycle

Last year one of my New Year's resolutions was to pray daily. I've always had a relationship with God, but once I went to college it sort of dwindled. Being a hard headed teenager, I thought I could figure things out by myself. I mean seriously...how could God help me ace that ridiculous organic chemistry test? How could He heal my broken heart? What does HE know about boys?

Dont get me wrong. I definitely acknowledged all of the great things that He did for me, but I felt like when it came to making things happen in my life I was on my own. It was my responsibility to figure things out....alone.

I'd find myself praying if and only if shit hit the fan. And I'd be angry. "Im a GOOD person, I have a GOOD heart!!! Why God? Why are you letting this happen to me?!"

Then it hit me...I needed to not only put my trust in God, but I needed to let Him know that I trusted Him. I needed to thank Him for the things that He did for me daily, and to pray for the things I wanted to accomplish in the future. I needed to stop living the 'woe is me' lifestyle and take charge of my life. I needed to be proactive.

The day that I began actively praying was the best day of my life. Im happier than I've ever been. I've stopped sweating the little things. I now count my blessings and not my misfortunes. I realize that everything happens for a reason and that what God has in store for me is amazingly worthwhile. The road to my destiny may not be easy, but I now know that every single thing that happens to me on it is designed to make my victory sweeter. Nothing is by chance.

This year when I sat down to make my New Year's resolution, I couldn't really come up with anything profound. Although there are a ton of little things that I need to work on, I don't think any can match my decision to strengthen my relationship with God. This relationship has encouraged me to better myself daily. Life is easier now. Im growing, living, laughing, and loving. Im all smiles.

Happy New Year everyone!! What has been your most life changing NYR?

There is someone new in my life...I dont wanna jinx it but....*cues beyonce*

"everybody asks me why Im smiling out from ear to ear..." 

;-) <3 :-) <3 :-D

havent been this happy in a while.

Happy.

im happy.

even when things arent going my way...im happy. thats saying alot for me. im so proud of myself for regaining my self control. things havent turned out the way they did in the past....but im ok with that. im young...and i have total and complete faith that what is meant to be will be.

i do believe that things will work out a certain way...i feel it in my heart. but if they dont...i will be ok. i know that you cant always be with your soulmate (although it is ideal). and i know that my love for him will never change (its unconditional).

i am head over heels in love with MYSELF and thats the most important thing.

...i know i will always be there for me.

its a wonderful feeling really. i feel like ive finally found myself...like ive finally grown into the miraculous woman i was destined to be.

sweet.

Thanks For the Memories.

have you ever had a memory so perfect, that you wish you could bask in its greatness forever?

a moment where time stood still, and all that was apparent was you and your happiness (whatever that may be).

have you ever dreaded returning back to reality, because you knew that once you did, nothing would be the same? once its gone, there is no way to regain the intensity you felt just seconds before.

sometimes i wish that i could live in my memories forever (the good ones of course). that i could remember exactly how it felt when you took my hand. that i could still feel the traces left behind by your kiss. that i could simply hold you into eternity.

but its impossible.

time is fleeting, and try as i might, i cant dream forever.

soon i wake up, and realize that all we have are memories, things arent so perfectly perfect, and perhaps im the only one who is holding on to what has already been.

thanks for the memories...i guess.

How Blessed is She?

blessed.

honestly, thats the only word that could possibly describe the life i live. ive gone through so much in 20 years...and yet, im still here.

that in itself is a blessing.

one day i woke up and i finally realized how beautiful my life was...

[that bad times dont last forever, that tears make you stronger. that one failure WONT ruin your life, that smiles are priceless.that a hug (i mean a REALLY good hug) can chase all your worries away...that sometimes all you can do is pray. that the only person you have to answer to is God, that love can move mountains. that communication is essential, that memories are perfect. that you grow from your mistakes, and everyday is a lesson learned. that you get out of life what you put in. and that hard work beats talent when talent doesnt work hard enough. that people come and go, but the important ones remain constant. that sometimes its okay to be alone..that its okay to dance in the street. that your name is all you have, that tomorrow it could all be game. that if life was simple, it wouldnt be fun. that true beauty lies within. that there are some things that you have to learn on your own. that there is someone for everyone, that you should share your gifts with others..]


THAT was the day that i truly started living.

LessThan3

Hey my loves! I know ive been gone for a while....but im back with a vengeance!

Ive been feeling so lovey dovey lately..its kind of gross lol. I LOVE the feeling though. There is no better feeling than when you put your guard down and simply allow yourself to fall...trust me. I love that my friends are experiencing the same things that I am...and im happy for them.

Its not easy, but you can do it! Weve all felt hopeless before. Unlovable. Unattractive. Un-everything. But sweetheart, if you dont learn to love yourself first how can you possibly expect him to love you? Everyone should take this summer and make it productive as hell. Work on your self-confidence..become comfortable being alone..try to understand who you are. The summer of self exploration.

Learn to ask God not for what you want, but for the strength to make it through each day. One at a time, step by step.Dont focus on your flaws (everyone has them!)and what other people think of them, instead focus on how you can improve on yourself for your own happiness. I guarantee you will wake up each morning with a whole new outlook on life. Become strong. You'll feel different but you'll also look different. People will begin noticing that brand new glow that youre giving off.

Once you fall in love with yourself you'll be able to truly open your heart up to another. A man loves a woman with confidence, and your new found aura may just set his world on fire!!

Lets start a movement ladies...its called the LessThan3 (<3) movement. Lets all fall in love...with ourselves!!