And so..
I think Im finally strong enough to let it all go...completely. Being with you has made me realize that i deserve to be happy. I deserve to love freely. I deserve to trust. I know that nothing or no one is perfect, but Im living for this moment. Im 100% dedicated to making this work. There is no past him...there is only you, my Beautiful Surprise.
Any problem that we may encounter, Im ready. Im not anticipating the wrong. Im no longer waiting for us to fail.
We have so much to learn from one another, and Im excited. I want you to know everything. Every thought, every insecurity, every aspiration. I want you to know me. I dont want to hide who I am when Im with you. I want this to be pure. Untarnished, Untouchable, Everlasting.
I never want to come down from this high.
"It's like yesterday
I didn't even know your name
Now today
You're always on my mind
I never could have predicted that I feel this way
You are beautiful surprise
Intoxicated every time I hear your voice
You've got me on a natural high
It's almost like I didn't even have a choice
You are a beautiful surprise
Whatever it is you came to teach me
I am here to learn it cause
I believe that we are written in the stars
I don't know what the future holds
But I'm living in the moment
And I'm thankful for the man that you are, you are, you are
You are everything I ask for in my prayers
So I know my angels brought you to my life
Your energy is healing to my soul
You are a beautiful surprise
You are an inspiration to my life
You are the reason why I smile
You are a beautiful surprise"
26.4.09
22.4.09
What Do You Do?
What do you do, when you dont know what to do?
Im so afraid. Im afraid of the goosebumps that i get when you touch me. Of the butterflies that magically appear when you pull me closer. Of the way i can get lost in your arms....
I am afraid of you.
Each day i feel myself falling for you a little bit more. I find myself kissing you a little bit longer, hugging you a little bit tighter...subconsciously trying to become one with you...and i love it.
But still im afraid.
What if i fall, but you remain standing?
I mean...i promised myself that i would never ever let another man do to me what he did. Never again will i let anyone hurt me like he did. And you promised me that you wouldnt.
But im afraid of the unknown.
Is this thing, this me&you, this us going to work? You knocked down the wall around my heart, and im trying SO hard, to let you love me...to let you care for me. Im trying SO hard to reciprocate that. But my past continues to haunt me. It lurks in the corners of my mind waiting for something to go wrong. Waiting for you not to call, to forget all about me. Waiting for me to be alone again.
What do you do, when you dont know what to do? When you find yourself running from both your past AND your future? What do you do when youre trapped in the now, at a standstill...when life is seemingly passing you by?
Im so afraid. Im afraid of the goosebumps that i get when you touch me. Of the butterflies that magically appear when you pull me closer. Of the way i can get lost in your arms....
I am afraid of you.
Each day i feel myself falling for you a little bit more. I find myself kissing you a little bit longer, hugging you a little bit tighter...subconsciously trying to become one with you...and i love it.
But still im afraid.
What if i fall, but you remain standing?
I mean...i promised myself that i would never ever let another man do to me what he did. Never again will i let anyone hurt me like he did. And you promised me that you wouldnt.
But im afraid of the unknown.
Is this thing, this me&you, this us going to work? You knocked down the wall around my heart, and im trying SO hard, to let you love me...to let you care for me. Im trying SO hard to reciprocate that. But my past continues to haunt me. It lurks in the corners of my mind waiting for something to go wrong. Waiting for you not to call, to forget all about me. Waiting for me to be alone again.
What do you do, when you dont know what to do? When you find yourself running from both your past AND your future? What do you do when youre trapped in the now, at a standstill...when life is seemingly passing you by?
15.4.09
Lets Talk About Sex Baby.
Soo today I had a conversation about the differences between fucking, sexing, and making love. Now to me, they are three absolutley and totally different things. But, does everyone see it the same way? I feel like its important to talk about this with your significant other...you dont want to be caught up making love to a man who in the end, is only fucking you.
Heres my insight:
Fucking- Fucking is raw and unemotional. To me its something you do for fun, in the heat of the moment, or in random ass places (movie theaters, parks, etc.). If youre sexually active, chances are youve fucked before. You can be emotionally attached to someone and still fuck occasionally...but if you are emotionally involved, every encounter should not be an all out fuck fest.
Sexing- Sexing is when significant emotions are involved. You care about each other and you take the time out show it. You kiss, you caress...its special. I personally feel that sex is and should always be a special thing. Youre giving someone a piece of yourself, something that you can never ever get back. Sexing is all about sharing yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally with another person. Youre opening up yourself and inviting him to become acquainted with your entire being.
Making Love- Making love to someone is absolutley amazing. Its when youre so in love with him that you want to become one. It feels like no matter how close your bodies get, it just doesnt seem close enough. You want your souls to touch. That sounds crazy, but when you come across that moment you will know EXACTLY what I mean.
Sometimes I feel like in this day and age, I am one of the few people who view sex in such a way. I see soo many girls giving themselves away just for the hell of it, and to tell you the truth, it kind of bothers me. Just because you talk to someone doesnt mean you have to give in to him ladies. Dont be afraid to say no. I mean, if he's right for you he will wait...and when it finally does happen, it will be so much better.
***Remember that you are a Queen and that you deserve the best. Be strong, dont let anyone force you into anything that you dont want, or are just not ready for.
Another thing, just because you and your man are sexually involved with one another doesnt mean that EVERYTIME you are together you have to have sex. Take some time to just chill and enjoy each others company. Falling for someone can be a beautiful thing ladies. But dont you want him to fall in love with the mental and the physical? Dont fall into the sex trap...you know, when you start out feeling each other, you start fucking like rabbits, and all of a sudden the feeling is gone.
What do you guys think?
Heres my insight:
Fucking- Fucking is raw and unemotional. To me its something you do for fun, in the heat of the moment, or in random ass places (movie theaters, parks, etc.). If youre sexually active, chances are youve fucked before. You can be emotionally attached to someone and still fuck occasionally...but if you are emotionally involved, every encounter should not be an all out fuck fest.
Sexing- Sexing is when significant emotions are involved. You care about each other and you take the time out show it. You kiss, you caress...its special. I personally feel that sex is and should always be a special thing. Youre giving someone a piece of yourself, something that you can never ever get back. Sexing is all about sharing yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally with another person. Youre opening up yourself and inviting him to become acquainted with your entire being.
Making Love- Making love to someone is absolutley amazing. Its when youre so in love with him that you want to become one. It feels like no matter how close your bodies get, it just doesnt seem close enough. You want your souls to touch. That sounds crazy, but when you come across that moment you will know EXACTLY what I mean.
Sometimes I feel like in this day and age, I am one of the few people who view sex in such a way. I see soo many girls giving themselves away just for the hell of it, and to tell you the truth, it kind of bothers me. Just because you talk to someone doesnt mean you have to give in to him ladies. Dont be afraid to say no. I mean, if he's right for you he will wait...and when it finally does happen, it will be so much better.
***Remember that you are a Queen and that you deserve the best. Be strong, dont let anyone force you into anything that you dont want, or are just not ready for.
Another thing, just because you and your man are sexually involved with one another doesnt mean that EVERYTIME you are together you have to have sex. Take some time to just chill and enjoy each others company. Falling for someone can be a beautiful thing ladies. But dont you want him to fall in love with the mental and the physical? Dont fall into the sex trap...you know, when you start out feeling each other, you start fucking like rabbits, and all of a sudden the feeling is gone.
What do you guys think?
8.4.09
They Say All She Needs is Something Real.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sooo i got this from my friend ashley michelle...renewedlove.blogspot.com...and its oddly accurate. Creepy.
www.goldenuniverse.com
**You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality.
You are very orderly, methodical and self sufficient. You demand and need the respect, recognition and understanding of all those who enter into your sphere on influence.
You are trying to break away from the mundane existence that you have been experiencing of late. You have many high hopes and ideals but you are concerned whether circumstances will allow you to realise these ambitions. You want to spread your wings - to broaden your fields of activities - but you are concerned that your dreams are just that - 'dreams' which are not realistic. It concerns you that you are not thinking clearly at this time - what you need is to get away from it all, to give you time to think. A short vacation could well restore your confidence.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.
No Need for me to Ever Sweat the Next Bitch.
Trust can make or break ANY relationship.
Honestly, I feel like you should never have to worry about your man, where hes at, or who hes with. If he's sincere, you should know that he's not going anywhere && that at the end of the night hes coming home with you.
I used to trip...but Ive realized that insecurity breeds unhappiness. I mean come on ladies...if he's doing his job, your man should make you feel like youre the most gorgeous woman on this planet. If you have to question whether or not hes for real...you dont need to be with him.
People will always talk ( especially at Hampton!!! ) but dont let the rumors get to you. Communication is essential if you want your relationship to survive. Talk to your hunny && let him know how you feel...it helps, and you will feel a BILION times better afterwards---i promise!
Like i stated in my previous post, the majority of females that you encounter want you to fail. REMEMBER this ladies. Dont sweat these hoes.
***And on the plus side...your man will love you for this. No dude wants a girl who is constantly on him. Textin, callin, checkin up. Think about it...would you want to be with someone if trust was always an issue?? Be cool...you should already know what it is. And if you do, chances are he already knows where its at.
"..Never stress the kid when he's surrounded by hoes.."
Honestly, I feel like you should never have to worry about your man, where hes at, or who hes with. If he's sincere, you should know that he's not going anywhere && that at the end of the night hes coming home with you.
I used to trip...but Ive realized that insecurity breeds unhappiness. I mean come on ladies...if he's doing his job, your man should make you feel like youre the most gorgeous woman on this planet. If you have to question whether or not hes for real...you dont need to be with him.
People will always talk ( especially at Hampton!!! ) but dont let the rumors get to you. Communication is essential if you want your relationship to survive. Talk to your hunny && let him know how you feel...it helps, and you will feel a BILION times better afterwards---i promise!
Like i stated in my previous post, the majority of females that you encounter want you to fail. REMEMBER this ladies. Dont sweat these hoes.
***And on the plus side...your man will love you for this. No dude wants a girl who is constantly on him. Textin, callin, checkin up. Think about it...would you want to be with someone if trust was always an issue?? Be cool...you should already know what it is. And if you do, chances are he already knows where its at.
"..Never stress the kid when he's surrounded by hoes.."
Pursuit of Happyness
Growing up, Ive realized one thing about women. No matter how different we may seem, we are all in search of the same things--love, acceptance, and absolute happiness.
If these things are a common thread in all of our lives, why is it then, that we are willing to destroy one another in order to better ourselves?? We cant stand to see each other happy. And no matter how much you deny it im sure all of you have looked at another woman and thought::
* That man loves the hell out of her...why cant I have that?
* OMG...shes not even that cute!
*etc, etc, etc.
We blame the fact that we are unable to fill our own emotional voids on others. Because we cant seem to find love, we dont want her to either. We talk behind each others backs, we give stank looks, we internalize evil thoughts. Ladies we are destroying ourselves.
Im no where near perfect, but I am learning how to be happy for others. Women are beautiful;; we are all unique in our own ways. Accept our differences and remember that that darling is what makes you special. Know that one day a man will fall in love with you, not for what she has, but for the beauty that YOU alone possess.
So lets stop dwelling on what we dont have. Next time you see a woman that is genuinely happy. Be happy for her. Although she may have reached Euphoria a little before you, remember that your time will come, and that the negativity will only hold you back.
After all, we are all on the Pursuit of Happyness.
If these things are a common thread in all of our lives, why is it then, that we are willing to destroy one another in order to better ourselves?? We cant stand to see each other happy. And no matter how much you deny it im sure all of you have looked at another woman and thought::
* That man loves the hell out of her...why cant I have that?
* OMG...shes not even that cute!
*etc, etc, etc.
We blame the fact that we are unable to fill our own emotional voids on others. Because we cant seem to find love, we dont want her to either. We talk behind each others backs, we give stank looks, we internalize evil thoughts. Ladies we are destroying ourselves.
Im no where near perfect, but I am learning how to be happy for others. Women are beautiful;; we are all unique in our own ways. Accept our differences and remember that that darling is what makes you special. Know that one day a man will fall in love with you, not for what she has, but for the beauty that YOU alone possess.
So lets stop dwelling on what we dont have. Next time you see a woman that is genuinely happy. Be happy for her. Although she may have reached Euphoria a little before you, remember that your time will come, and that the negativity will only hold you back.
After all, we are all on the Pursuit of Happyness.
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