My [Body] Prerogative

Why is it that when a thin girl [or a girl who used to be thin] says that she wants to drop a few pounds or get in shape people look at her like she's crazy? I mean...I know I'm no where near fat. But I also know that I'm not where I'd like to be as far as my appearance. Don't I have the right to want to improve myself? To me the only thing that matters in regards to a woman's physical appearance is that she feels comfortable and healthy in her own skin.

There are a lot of things that we cant change about ourselves ladies (at least not without surgery). But I truly believe that we have complete power to overcome the things that we can change through hard work and dedication. Don't let anyone force their perception of your body on you. If you look in the mirror and aren't 100% comfortable with the things you can change...then by all means change them!

With that said, I'd like to lose about 7 pounds. Id also like to get some of my muscle tone back...mostly my stomach and my arms. Going from someone who was an extremely active teen to a not-so-active young woman is tough. But I am determined to bring my sexy back ;-)

I plan to do this by running at least three times a week and by cutting fast food out of my diet.

**Of course, I mean all this in regards to being healthy. Making a healthy and realistic decision to work on yourself is completely different than being neurotic and making changes that can do more harm than good to your body.

So Ladies, what are some of your health goals? What do you plan to do to achieve them?

You, Me and Us.

The hardest part about being in a relationship to me is maintaining my individuality. Dont get me wrong; I loveeeeee being an 'us'. But I do feel like in the age of social media/technology it limits me as a person.

I havent blogged in months.

Truth is...I havent felt like I could blog without people taking the things that I write the wrong way by equating my random thoughts to some sort of discord within my relationship.

I mean...I am allowed to think...right?

Every tweet I send creates an uproar of gossip and speculation. Every random song lyric, every revelation, every opinion, every lesson learned...has become a reflection of my relationship.

Is it possible to be an 'Us' while maintaining my 'Me'?

Or is this a sacrifice that I will have to make in order to be with the man that I love?


...sometimes a thought...is just a thought.

"Post-Racial" Black America.

Our Black brothers are raping our Black sisters,

Degrading them by calling them bitches and hoes.

Our Black sisters are devaluing our Black brothers,

Stripping them of their crowns with statements like “Niggas aint shit.”

Our Black children can no longer remember what a two-parent home looks like.

The vision of an independent, hard working mother

And a lazy, nonexistent father is all that they know.

Our Black princesses no longer wish to grow into Black queens.

They long to be the king.

Strong, in charge, and single,

Because they “don’t need a man for shit.”

Our Black princes no longer know what it means to be a king.

They no longer yearn to provide, protect, and facilitate their future families.

We’re killing each other over sneakers and petty altercations.

We have become stagnant as a people.

Content with the Civil Rights advancements made 50 years ago.

We see no room for progress.

We see no need for it.

We belittle our history,

Choosing to ignore the fight of our ancestors,

Attempting to undermine the contributions they made towards building this nation.

We no longer see the struggles of our Black brothers and sisters as our own.

We try desperately to distinguish ourselves from the color of our skin.

We are embarrassed by our Blackness.

Instead of embracing the physical diversity of our people,

We separate ourselves with comments such as

“I don’t like light skinned boys” or “I don’t like dark skinned girls.”

We have enslaved ourselves by becoming ashamed of who we are.

We are “Post-Racial” Black America.

Too Cool For School...Or Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is coming up!!! I've always loved Valentine's Day...there's something beautiful about celebrating love...be it with your significant other, family, or friends.

I'm used to seeing and hearing bitter comments from people who wish they had someone to celebrate with...but lately...I've been seeing bitter comments from people who are actually in relationships!

Never have I seen such a holier than thou attitude. I've heard so many women say, "I don't get the big deal, me and my boyfriend celebrate EVERYDAY." How on Earth could you attempt to put someone down for being excited? Does this mean that if your boyfriend doesn't get you anything you'll be fine? Yeah...ok.

Just because you and your honey bask in Valentine's Day and all its commercialism does not imply that your relationship is otherwise boring and stagnant.

That logic is just silly to me....I mean...I'm thankful year round....does that mean I should stop celebrating Thanksgiving? lol

Take that stick out your ass and lighten up people. No, Valentine's Day should not be the only day that your sig other makes you feel special...but that doesn't mean you cant celebrate! It's the one day out of the year that the majority of people around you are also celebrating their love. That's what makes it special. Universal love day.

...And stop trying to downplay other peoples relationships by bigging up your own. Who are you trying to convince that your relationship is perfect and happy 365? Me?? Or yourself??

Why I Hate Religion, But Love JESUS.

Letting Go...?

Is there a difference between letting things go and being fake?

If you let something go without truly resolving the issue at hand.....are you really over it? Or is it in the back of your mind, weighing heavy on your heart while you smile like everything is alright?

I wish I had the answers to these questions.

Im not the type to hold on to bad feelings. Im always the one encouraging everyone to make up and get along...but this time...this time is different.

Im hurt. I've seen sides of people close to me that I never fathomed existed.

And now...now everyone is acting like things are back to normal.

Am I a bitch for thinking that they will never be normal again?

Am I horrible for not wanting them to be after the things I've seen?

A Wish, A Hope, A Thought.

"sometimes you pray by accident. a wish, a hope. a thought."- The White Woman on the Green Bicycle

Last year one of my New Year's resolutions was to pray daily. I've always had a relationship with God, but once I went to college it sort of dwindled. Being a hard headed teenager, I thought I could figure things out by myself. I mean seriously...how could God help me ace that ridiculous organic chemistry test? How could He heal my broken heart? What does HE know about boys?

Dont get me wrong. I definitely acknowledged all of the great things that He did for me, but I felt like when it came to making things happen in my life I was on my own. It was my responsibility to figure things out....alone.

I'd find myself praying if and only if shit hit the fan. And I'd be angry. "Im a GOOD person, I have a GOOD heart!!! Why God? Why are you letting this happen to me?!"

Then it hit me...I needed to not only put my trust in God, but I needed to let Him know that I trusted Him. I needed to thank Him for the things that He did for me daily, and to pray for the things I wanted to accomplish in the future. I needed to stop living the 'woe is me' lifestyle and take charge of my life. I needed to be proactive.

The day that I began actively praying was the best day of my life. Im happier than I've ever been. I've stopped sweating the little things. I now count my blessings and not my misfortunes. I realize that everything happens for a reason and that what God has in store for me is amazingly worthwhile. The road to my destiny may not be easy, but I now know that every single thing that happens to me on it is designed to make my victory sweeter. Nothing is by chance.

This year when I sat down to make my New Year's resolution, I couldn't really come up with anything profound. Although there are a ton of little things that I need to work on, I don't think any can match my decision to strengthen my relationship with God. This relationship has encouraged me to better myself daily. Life is easier now. Im growing, living, laughing, and loving. Im all smiles.

Happy New Year everyone!! What has been your most life changing NYR?