Whats in a Friend?

Earlier this week my best friend Sorbourni and I had a discussion about what a real friend is. The answer may seem obvious...but how many of us (even at age 20) have truly grasped the true meaning of friendship?

When asking a child, one may receive some simple answers. "a friend is someone who gives me their cookies." "someone who shares their toys with me." "someone who can make me laugh."

At what age did friendship become so complicated?

All relationships, be it parent-child, boyfriend-girlfriend, friend-friend, etc., go through problems. There will be moments where you cant stand one another....you may even hate one another. There is nothing wrong with this. Dont be ashamed of yourself if you need to leave the room in the middle of an argument--just so you dont say something youll regret. Dont be afraid to blog or vent your anger out--just so you avoid an unnecessary altercation.

Learn which battles are worth fighting. Two people with strong personalities and ideals are NOT going to agree on everything. But sometimes its better to just agree to disagree. Not everything should be turned into a huge issue...its just not worth the stress.

I personally get annoyed VERY easily. Most of the time i realize that im overreacting..but im human, and that doesnt stop me from being mad. I write, i blog, i sit in my room and think. Ive learned how to channel my anger so that I can avoid hurting peoples feeling.

Come at your friends with respect. If you have a problem...address it in a way that you would want someone to come at you. You must realize that yelling and screaming will get you no where. Status wars will get you no where. Simply determining to end the friendship will get you no where. Come on now at this age, we are all mature enough to let go and let live.

Real friends can go months without talking. They can fight and make up, all in the matter of 24 hours. If all it takes is a little incident to ruin your relationship with someone...you probably had no business being together in the first place.

Sorbourni and I have been friends since 7th grade. Oh, there are times i cant stand her...just like i know there are times she just wants to wring my neck lol. But i love her. I love her enough to accept her flaws and to forgive her when shes wrong. No matter what problems we may encounter throughout our lives, i know she will be there for me no matter what. THAT is what true friendship is.

"....How deep is our bond, if thats all it takes for you to be gone??"

The Old Me is Dead and Gone.

OK so i just need to vent. I hate hate HATEEEEEEEEEEEE when people try to come at me the wrong way via text,facebook,twitter, etc. Do NOT argue with me about my opinion. you dont like what im sayin?? lose my number, unfriend me, and dont fuckin follow me!

my mom always told me that one day i would grow outta my sweetheart stage. i would man up and stop letting ppl take advantage of me. i would stop letting people intimidate me and talk to me whichever way they felt like it.

I HATE THAT SHIT.

good girl is gone ppl. you will NOT come out of your face to me. dont fuckin raise your voice when you talk to me. i only have TWO parents and both of them reside on Long Island.

lol people are in for a rude awakening.

Perfect Size 3 ♥

Sometimes all it takes is one comment to change your entire outlook on life.

Ive been battling with my weight for months now. NO im not sick or anything...i dont have any disorders...ive been trying to gain weight.

I never thought anything was wrong with the way I looked. My whole life ive always been really active, ive always eaten a TON, and ive always been thin. No problems whatsoever...until this year.

Between October and December of my sophomore year at Hampton i lost 10 lbs. It sounds crazy, but i honestly didnt even notice until someone pointed out that my jeans were baggy. What?? Ive ALWAYS been the perfect size 3!! I had no clue what was going on with me. I mean, I was eating the same I always had...wtf? Sure I was going through alot, but could stress honestly make me lose 10 lbs in 3 months? It may not even sound like that much, but when youre little to begin with 10 lbs is like a death sentence! The more people commented, the more self conscious i got about my weight.

I hate hate hateeee! when people call me skinny...you might think its funny, but that shit really hurts my feelings. It got to the point where I couldnt even find clothes to fit me...what do u do when a size small is too big? There were even a few times when people made comments and i actually went in the bathroom and cried. Its really mean to make fun of people for things that they cant help, especially when they ask you to stop.

When I came home for Christmas break, my mom made me go to the doctor. You have no idea how bad that made me feel. People were lowkey blaming me for something i had NO control over. I love food too damn much to starve myself lol, believe that. Even after all that i still had to go back to Hampton, hearing about how fucking skinny i was. UGHHH.

Months fly by and all I do is EAT EAT EAT 24/7. I was so damn determined to gain back those 10 lbs...plus 5 just so i never had to hear anyones mouth again. And guess what people..ive finally achieved my original goal of 10!

During this time, i only really talked to a few people about how much the word skinny actually bothered me. I would point out ppl in the student center and say "Hey...i dont look like that girl right?? Im not as thin as her??" Lol, they may have thought I was joking, but i was dead ass trying to figure out just how gross i looked to the outside world.

Last night i was talking to one of my good guy friends about how i really want to get thick..just so im not skinny. and he says the simplest thing..."Jazmyn, youre the perfect size." Thats it. He made me realize that all this time Ive been worrying about how I look to everyone else, and its been destroying me! I think its finally safe to say that Im done with my eat everything diet, and im finally content with how I am.

This is how God made me. And Im beautiful. Be careful of what you say to people because you never know whats going on inside of them. Just because you may think something is a compliment, doesnt mean that it is. I dont think anyone would want me to go up to them and say "OMG...youre mad fat!" Its hurtful.

All it took was that one little comment to snap me back to reality. You never know which little comment you make will have the adverse affect, and make someone fall over the edge.

** dont let anyone tell you how to be you!!

Lost && Confused.

UGHHH sometimes its so hard to follow my own advice! Im trying really hard not to re-nig on all of the promises that ive made myself.

What do you do when you dont know what to believe?? When your heart tells you one thing...but your mind tells you something completely different. I have a situation America (idk why Ive randomly been talking like Bernie Mac lately lmao).

I really really really want (and desperately need) to talk to him about something. The thing is...i really trust him, honestly i do. And Ive asked him about this particular situation before. Its still on my mind, lurking there ( driving me crAaAaaZZzy!!).

Will bringing it up again be a sign that maybe i dont trust him as much as i told him i do? I dont want him to think im nagging him...or that im becoming one of those private eye girl-nots (definition of girl or boy- not: an individual who is basically your girl or boyfriend, without the title; the main or only individual you talk to). UGHHHH what should I do??!

There is no doubt in my mind that hes mine. I mean, get all of his time..if were not together, were texting...if were not texting, were on the phone..etc. If i know all of this why cant i just go on with my life?? I just really need to get this off of my chest.

soo effin frustrating :-(

Kind of Like Superwoman.

When you love someone, you give them complete power to destroy your world. Isnt that a scary thought? You have no idea how bad things can get, how absolutley horrible you are able to feel until youve had your heart broken.

Have you ever read the Twilight series (by Stephenie Meyer)? I read the series last summer. And now Im reading it again and I see Bella in a whole new light. I understand her catatonic state. I know what its like to feel like you have no one...like you just cant go on. After all of that i realize i can relate to Bella.

"...Before you...my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars--points of light and reason...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldnt see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."
- New Moon (Book 2)

Ive learned so much from my heartache. Never ever should you feel that you arent complete without a man. It is so important to be comfortable being alone..comfortable loving yourself. Love has so many risks, but i want all of you to be strong enough to withstand them. I dont want anyone to experience what me (or Bella) went through.

Is it weird that I feel like God gave me that situation for a reason? So that I can share it with others..and maybe prevent other women from falling victim to weakness. To shield others from self consciousness..from neediness. I honestly believe that I can make a difference in so many lives.

Is that weird?

LessThan3

Hey my loves! I know ive been gone for a while....but im back with a vengeance!

Ive been feeling so lovey dovey lately..its kind of gross lol. I LOVE the feeling though. There is no better feeling than when you put your guard down and simply allow yourself to fall...trust me. I love that my friends are experiencing the same things that I am...and im happy for them.

Its not easy, but you can do it! Weve all felt hopeless before. Unlovable. Unattractive. Un-everything. But sweetheart, if you dont learn to love yourself first how can you possibly expect him to love you? Everyone should take this summer and make it productive as hell. Work on your self-confidence..become comfortable being alone..try to understand who you are. The summer of self exploration.

Learn to ask God not for what you want, but for the strength to make it through each day. One at a time, step by step.Dont focus on your flaws (everyone has them!)and what other people think of them, instead focus on how you can improve on yourself for your own happiness. I guarantee you will wake up each morning with a whole new outlook on life. Become strong. You'll feel different but you'll also look different. People will begin noticing that brand new glow that youre giving off.

Once you fall in love with yourself you'll be able to truly open your heart up to another. A man loves a woman with confidence, and your new found aura may just set his world on fire!!

Lets start a movement ladies...its called the LessThan3 (<3) movement. Lets all fall in love...with ourselves!!