Why I Hate Religion, But Love JESUS.

Letting Go...?

Is there a difference between letting things go and being fake?

If you let something go without truly resolving the issue at hand.....are you really over it? Or is it in the back of your mind, weighing heavy on your heart while you smile like everything is alright?

I wish I had the answers to these questions.

Im not the type to hold on to bad feelings. Im always the one encouraging everyone to make up and get along...but this time...this time is different.

Im hurt. I've seen sides of people close to me that I never fathomed existed.

And now...now everyone is acting like things are back to normal.

Am I a bitch for thinking that they will never be normal again?

Am I horrible for not wanting them to be after the things I've seen?

A Wish, A Hope, A Thought.

"sometimes you pray by accident. a wish, a hope. a thought."- The White Woman on the Green Bicycle

Last year one of my New Year's resolutions was to pray daily. I've always had a relationship with God, but once I went to college it sort of dwindled. Being a hard headed teenager, I thought I could figure things out by myself. I mean seriously...how could God help me ace that ridiculous organic chemistry test? How could He heal my broken heart? What does HE know about boys?

Dont get me wrong. I definitely acknowledged all of the great things that He did for me, but I felt like when it came to making things happen in my life I was on my own. It was my responsibility to figure things out....alone.

I'd find myself praying if and only if shit hit the fan. And I'd be angry. "Im a GOOD person, I have a GOOD heart!!! Why God? Why are you letting this happen to me?!"

Then it hit me...I needed to not only put my trust in God, but I needed to let Him know that I trusted Him. I needed to thank Him for the things that He did for me daily, and to pray for the things I wanted to accomplish in the future. I needed to stop living the 'woe is me' lifestyle and take charge of my life. I needed to be proactive.

The day that I began actively praying was the best day of my life. Im happier than I've ever been. I've stopped sweating the little things. I now count my blessings and not my misfortunes. I realize that everything happens for a reason and that what God has in store for me is amazingly worthwhile. The road to my destiny may not be easy, but I now know that every single thing that happens to me on it is designed to make my victory sweeter. Nothing is by chance.

This year when I sat down to make my New Year's resolution, I couldn't really come up with anything profound. Although there are a ton of little things that I need to work on, I don't think any can match my decision to strengthen my relationship with God. This relationship has encouraged me to better myself daily. Life is easier now. Im growing, living, laughing, and loving. Im all smiles.

Happy New Year everyone!! What has been your most life changing NYR?

"I don’t regret my past; I just regret the time I’ve wasted with the wrong people.”

There is someone new in my life...I dont wanna jinx it but....*cues beyonce*

"everybody asks me why Im smiling out from ear to ear..." 

;-) <3 :-) <3 :-D

havent been this happy in a while.

Update Post

So I havent blogged in forever =\ My once a week rule went completely out the window...please forgive me!! This is just a quick update post. Im still in school (got A's on my first 2 tests by the way!), still coaching (the girls have learned their competition routine. first comp december 11th!), and still working.

I went to my school's homecoming last week...I had so much fun! I definitely thought I was going to go down there and party like it was my senior year again....i was beyond wrong lmao. Every night I was tired at like 12:30 and every morning i was up by 9. I think I'm getting old =[

Here are some pics of that weekend!

Me & my linesisters <3

All in all it was an amazing weekend =]

Rule #3

Rule #3 You Have to Be Cruel To be Kind. 

As you all know, I've been assistant coaching JV cheerleading since July. I absolutely love it. Cheerleading is my passion. Seriously. Although I only cheered for 4 years (2 years middle school, 2 years varsity) I became quite good. AMAZINGGGGGG motions, pretty jumps, and I was a kick ass back. Im proud to say, after 4 long years of not cheering...I STILL GOT IT. Heres where this happy nostalgic story ends.

I love my JV girls. But they are EXTREMELY lazy. So lazy it annoys me. Like...we had Hell Week a few weeks ago (basically extreme boot camp) and they finished the week out amazing. Jumps were so much better, motions were....alright, they had begun doing elite stunts, they had perfect pushups (they do them every time the football team scores), and were making progress with their tumbling . I was so proud of them. 3 weeks later and they look like the bottom of my shoe. All of the hard work they (and the coaches) put in isn't apparent anymore.

What pisses me off is that they have the potential to be phenomenal. They are one of the most advanced JV teams I've ever seen. Id be perfectly fine with them looking like shit if I wasn't aware of their potential....but I am, so Im not. Im the nice coach. I try to give constructive criticism in a nice way because I know how sensitive teen girls can be. But those days are over.

I've learned that with this particular group of girls you HAVE to be a drill sergeant. I have to be cruel to be kind.

I want them to go to competition and place. Hell...I want them to go to competition and WIN. If being the mean coach is what will motivate them to get there then Im more than willing to sacrifice their 'like' towards me. I want them to take this seriously. They want to be seen as athletes, they have to work to prove they're worthy of the title.