Perfect Size 3 ♥

Sometimes all it takes is one comment to change your entire outlook on life.

Ive been battling with my weight for months now. NO im not sick or anything...i dont have any disorders...ive been trying to gain weight.

I never thought anything was wrong with the way I looked. My whole life ive always been really active, ive always eaten a TON, and ive always been thin. No problems whatsoever...until this year.

Between October and December of my sophomore year at Hampton i lost 10 lbs. It sounds crazy, but i honestly didnt even notice until someone pointed out that my jeans were baggy. What?? Ive ALWAYS been the perfect size 3!! I had no clue what was going on with me. I mean, I was eating the same I always had...wtf? Sure I was going through alot, but could stress honestly make me lose 10 lbs in 3 months? It may not even sound like that much, but when youre little to begin with 10 lbs is like a death sentence! The more people commented, the more self conscious i got about my weight.

I hate hate hateeee! when people call me skinny...you might think its funny, but that shit really hurts my feelings. It got to the point where I couldnt even find clothes to fit me...what do u do when a size small is too big? There were even a few times when people made comments and i actually went in the bathroom and cried. Its really mean to make fun of people for things that they cant help, especially when they ask you to stop.

When I came home for Christmas break, my mom made me go to the doctor. You have no idea how bad that made me feel. People were lowkey blaming me for something i had NO control over. I love food too damn much to starve myself lol, believe that. Even after all that i still had to go back to Hampton, hearing about how fucking skinny i was. UGHHH.

Months fly by and all I do is EAT EAT EAT 24/7. I was so damn determined to gain back those 10 lbs...plus 5 just so i never had to hear anyones mouth again. And guess what people..ive finally achieved my original goal of 10!

During this time, i only really talked to a few people about how much the word skinny actually bothered me. I would point out ppl in the student center and say "Hey...i dont look like that girl right?? Im not as thin as her??" Lol, they may have thought I was joking, but i was dead ass trying to figure out just how gross i looked to the outside world.

Last night i was talking to one of my good guy friends about how i really want to get thick..just so im not skinny. and he says the simplest thing..."Jazmyn, youre the perfect size." Thats it. He made me realize that all this time Ive been worrying about how I look to everyone else, and its been destroying me! I think its finally safe to say that Im done with my eat everything diet, and im finally content with how I am.

This is how God made me. And Im beautiful. Be careful of what you say to people because you never know whats going on inside of them. Just because you may think something is a compliment, doesnt mean that it is. I dont think anyone would want me to go up to them and say "OMG...youre mad fat!" Its hurtful.

All it took was that one little comment to snap me back to reality. You never know which little comment you make will have the adverse affect, and make someone fall over the edge.

** dont let anyone tell you how to be you!!