The Skin Im In.

“Look at me. I’m skinny, I have a big nose, no tits and no ass, but in a room full of beautiful women, I would still leave with the most gorgeous guy.”
- Zoe Saldana

i love this. it took me soo long to become comfortable in the skin im in. when i first got to high school, i was soo embarassed. i hated the way i looked. but by the time i turned 16, Ciara came out....and she looked like ME. petite as hell lol. but u know what? she was still a bad bitch. people loved her...they thought she was gorgeous.

thats the first time i realized that its okay to look different than everyone else. i have so much more to offer than my body. and i love it. i love me!

ladies...be comfortable in the skin youre in! your attitude and the way you carry yourself is what makes you beautiful. if youre beautiful inside, youll feel beautiful outside.

thank God for what He's blessed you with dolls. Looks dont last forever, they can be taken away in the blink of an eye.

The Trifest Nigga, What.

"If you have a shortie, but you dont show love, oh yes son, im talkin to you."

so today im facebook browsing (stalking...watevs) and i come across this random girls page. i start going through her pics and i notice she has pics with this one dude...over and over and over again. the same dude who tried to talk to me a few months back. LOL.

i dig a lil deeper and find out that theyve been together damn near a year! shes writin notes about how in love she is and shit. and i cant help but feel a little disgusted. hes triflin as hell.

i dont understand how guys can tell one girl they love her. that shes his world...that he wants this forever...but hes still chasin the hoes! it makes no sense to me. how dare you hurt someone you "love"?

i feel so bad for this girl, you dont even know. females are so blinded by the fairytale, that we dont realize when were being played. its sad.

guys..please dont wife her if youre not ready. dont break her heart...please. if you love her, let her know. treat her right. be there for her. wipe her tears when shes sad. rub her back when shes not feeling well. dont cheat on her.

if you feel like your going to, let her go. dont keep secrets. be real with her. love her enough, not to hurt her.

dont make her cry.

respect her enough to stay true to her, like she stays true to you.

dont do anything to her, that you wouldnt want her to do to you.

Just a Thought..

sometimes,
feelings are just too strong to disregard.

try as i might,
i cant get past the thought
that you might be loving her.

it kills me.

sometimes,
i wonder if you call her..
before or after you talk to me.

how much time are you investing?

sometimes,
these thoughts creep into my mind..
and rest on the tip of my tongue,
before retreating back into my subconscious.

they haunt me.

sometimes,
i get so wrapped up in you,
that i forget about me..
and what i deserve.

the truth.

sometimes baby,
i wonder whos loving you.

Its About Time I Make That Move..

is it possible to approach a situation without creating drama? even if i come at her MAD respectful...how will she react?

i have some questions and only you have the answers. ive been avoiding it, but all signs always come straight back to you. ughh. im like the nicest girl...i wont come at you like a ghetto bird bitch, i promise.

please please please dont give me a reason to get reckless sweetie =\

please?

The Miracles of the Heart

sigh. do you ever completely get over someone who once had your heart? in my book...true love is indestructible. it is everlasting.

despite this...it does change over time. you may fall in and out of love...but you still love him. how could you not?? times weren't always the worst, and at one point he made you smile.

your love may bend and morph. it may allow you to fall in love with someone else. but a portion of it stays with him. it is his, and his is yours. this is unavoidable to me. no matter how hard you try to talk yourself out of it. no matter how hard u try to act like it doesnt phase you when you think hes moved on...you still feel some type of way. at least i do. and i know its the same for guys.

the things our heart is capable of smh.

to be able to hold past, present, and future loves...all in the same being. its remarkable really. none of them go anywhere. they just change according to your physical and mental needs...and make room for another love.

like when parents worry about bringing a new child into a family. they wonder how they could possibly have enough love to go around. how could you possibly be able to love your new baby as much as you love your first? they worry. and then as soon as they see their little ones face, their love instantly multiplies.

the same is true with relationships. you may think that you could never love someone as much as you loved him. its impossible right?

wrong.

one day youll meet a new him. and you'll fall in love again. your heart will make room for this new energy.

no one will be able to replace your past him. and thats ok.

just make sure you realize that you CAN love again. its not impossible ladies.

Love Vs. Money

Today one of my tweeters prompted the question "Whats more important, love or money?" I thought it was such an easy question....MONEY, duh. But the more people responded, I noticed that i was the only person who felt like this.

You guys know im the biggest love lover around...but I had to disagree. I mean, Im not money hungry...nor am I a gold digger...but love can not pay your bills. I wish that the world was different...that love would overcome all adversity. But thats simply not the case.

If a man proposed to you today, he had no job, no income, no car, and no place for u guys to live...but you loved the HELL out of him...would you say yes? I know i wouldnt, and no matter how much u deny it, im sure 99.9% of you would say no also. In fact, I dont think i would even allow myself to get so deeply involved with someone who was not financially stable.

I feel like the thing that would make me happiest in life (after i have a family) will be being able to support them on all fronts. Id love to be able to provide my children with everything that they need, as well as some of the things that they want. Id love to be able to take them to the doctor when theyre sick....because i can afford insurance. I want them to be able to participate in extracurricular activities if they want to. I dont want them to have to worry about how theyre going to pay for college. I want my children to have all of the oppurtunity in the world.

No matter how abundant the love is in our household, no matter how happy they appear, i dont think i will be able to be 100% happy unless i know that i am giving them all that i can. That they have a roof over their heads each night and food in their bellies. That their clothes fit. That they come home everyday and the lights are on...and the water works.

That is success to me. Being able to provide for those that I care about.

I thank God that my parents did the best that they could for my brother and I. We dont have a lot of money...but we do have enough to live a comfortable lifestyle. My parents sacrificed vacations, new clothes (for themselves), and other luxuries all so we could have a better life than they did. They were at every dance recital, every cheer competition, every girl scout ceremony, every PTA meeting, etc. And i love them for that.

To me...in order to be completely happy you have to have both love and money. Love alone cannot provide for your family.

No matter how you twist it...its not possible.

Without the proper balance of both, your happiness will eventually fade.

Its Human Nature.

WOW ive been gone forever my blog lovies, but im back! Classes are almost over soooo ima have a lot more time to get my thoughts out there=]

Sometimes i just dont learn my lesson.

And its not just me, i see this flaw in my friends, my family, in strangers..it sucks. Im working on learning (well, not learning, but remembering) that i can not change people. Why is such a simple concept so hard to grasp?

Sweethearts, i reiterate, you can not change people, unless of course, they are ready to change.

Perhaps its like the late great MJ said...its just human nature! i distance myself from people because of the ways that they have hurt me in the past. Im so determined at that moment, never to let them get that close to me again. Closeness is an open invitation for broken-ness and only certain people should be extended that invitation.

But then, the day comes when i have a change of heart. i begin reminiscing about the good times we had, the love, the laughter, the smiles....and i want it back. I decide to forgive, but never forget. To allow him or her back into my life, but under strict circumstances:

1)im not going to tell him/ her my business
2)i wont answer his calls after friend hours (12 am)
3)bullshit bullshit bullshit

Looking back at my logic now, what the hell was i thinking? What kind of "friendship" involves shielding your thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions from one another? That isnt friendship loves...its simply non-existent.

I need to stop allowing people back into my life under these conditions. Ive realized once again that some people are in my past for a reason. Daddy told me once that people are in your life 'for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.' Keeping people in your life for longer than their allotted time will only hold you back.

Wait, let me say this again...

KEEPING PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE FOR LONGER THAN THEIR ALLOTTED TIME WILL ONLY HOLD YOU BACK.

You cant change people, or their ways. Even if things seem to be going good in the beginning, i guarantee that he or she will slip back into their ways and you will end up hurt and broken once again. Who needs that negative energy in their life?

Im not saying that people cant change, because i truly believe that they can. But dont force the change on them. If he or she is ready, then let them come to you. Dont chase unrealistic fairy tales.

Make that your human nature.