Over It.

coming from a grade A cry baby...

when ive run out of tears for you...you know youve fucked up.

im done giving chances. im done pretending. im over it.

"Imagine me

Loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I..

..I imagine me

In a place of no insecurities

And I'm finally happy cause

I imagine me

Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me

Cause they never did deserve me

Can you imagine me?

Saying no to thoughts that try to control me

Remembering all you told me

Lord, can you imagine me?...

Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally

finally I can...

Imagine me

I admit it was hard to see

You being in love with someone like me

But finally I can...

Imagine me

Being strong

And not letting people break me down

You won't get that joy this time around.

Can you imagine me?

In a world where nobody has to live afraid

Because of your love fears gone away

Can you imagine me?"

-Kirk Franklin

Any Sane Man's Dream.

I have a few friends that I honestly think deserve the world...the whole entire thing. These young women are so beautiful to me, inside and out. They know what they want and although nervous [they are human] they are never too afraid to go for what they want. These are the friends that I can talk to about anything...because they never judge.

One girl isnt even a friend per se... but have you ever met someone and knew right away that they were different?? That they were destined to do huge things?? Yea...thats her.

Dont get me wrong, I am very proud of most of my friends (i wont lie...some are a little sus lol). I pray that they too will achieve whatever goals they may have. I like seeing people happy.

..But the few that inspired this post are my role models. Its weird because were all around the same age. Is it even possible to look up to someone who is the same age as you??

Strong, intelligent, young Black woman.

Beautiful Souls.

"...i want you to know

this was an experiment

to see how selfish i could be

if i would really carry on to snare a possible lover

if i was capable of debasing my self for the love of another

if i could stand not being wanted

when i wanted to be wanted

& i cannot

so

with no further assistance & no guidance from you

i am ending this affair..."

-For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/ When the Rainbow is Enuf

Its Been a Long Time Coming.

so today i was in the mall..i looked down and noticed that the sales associate helping me was sporting a GORGEOUS, and equally HUMONGOUS engagement ring. ive never seen something so beautiful [magnificent]. eyes wide, i complimented her on her rock.. her response took me completely by surprise.

"hunny..when you wait till 43 to get married..you DESERVE a ring like this!"

lol first off...she looked bomb for a middle aged white woman. secondly...she was absolutely right. by the time he's 40 a man should have enough revenue to buy his girl (or woman in this case) the ring of her dreams.

but as wonderful as this sounds, its just not worth it to me. i personally would take a modest (yet still beautiful) engagement ring anyday if it meant that i would actually be able to spend my life (or the majority of it) with the man that i love. i know that this is not God's plan for everyone...but i cant help but hope and pray that it is His plan for me.

if all my soulmate has is a dollar and a dream i am 100% down to ride (as long as this dream is accompanied by a plan of course!). we can take that dollar and build our empire together.

i dont know this womans situation, and i didnt bother to ask. i dont know if she waited till 43 to get married by choice, or if it just kinda happened. but i am glad that she finally found her happy ending.

"I've never been bitter because I've ALWAYS been loved. No matter what we go thru I know I have his heart..."

drunken [and seemingly confident] love tweets from me, your local hopeless romantic lol. Happy New Year =]

2011 Wishlist.

Have you ever wanted something so badly that it hurts?? Im ready to grab 2011 by the horns...this year has the potential to be amazing for me.

Here are some things i hope to achieve in 2011.

1) graduate with honors from Hampton University (May 8, 2011!!!!).

2) obtain this internship that im applying for (i NEED to be in Denver this summer!!).

3) ace this MCAT the second time around (already signed up for a prep course)

4) get hired for a long term position upon completion of my internship.

5) get into GWU medical school (ill be ready to start fall 2012).

and lastly...

6) have the time of my life while accomplishing all of this:-)

I know that these things wont be easy. And I know that none of this will happen if it isnt God's will. But I have faith...i mean, He hasnt steered me wrong yet!