Our Aura.

up late...yearning to have a heart to heart with you.
i dont even know what i would say.
but just the opportunity to hear your voice
would put my mind at ease.
we could even sit on the phone in silence.
the knowledge that youre there on the other end,
patiently waiting for me
would make my night.

why are things so different?
why so many off days??
they are all so easy to forget once i get ahold of your smile...
your kiss, your touch, your aura.

your aura...
do you realize how beautiful it is?
i glow when im in its presence.
it rubs off on me.
it is illuminated through my smile...
my kiss, my touch, MY aura.

our aura.
so powerful and enduring.
beautiful beyond measure...
everlasting.

The Black American Color Spectrum.

Today I woke up to a not so intense debate about light skinned girls. I dont care much about the complexion debate....but i like to argue so i joined in. I guess you can say i was playing devil's advocate.

I grew up not realizing how strongly people truly felt about complexion. I was in no way ignorant, I understood the history of complexion debates, but I thought that it was limited to light and dark skinned. I didnt know that there was an 'in-between' stage when it came to color. And quite frankly, it didnt really matter to me.

It wasnt until I became a student at Hampton University that I started questioning my color. Id always thought I was light skinned...hell Id always been referred to as light skinned. My peers however introduced me to a new term.."brown skinned" LOL, what?? To me this was not a historical term....at all. I mean in the past you were either light or dark....a house nigger or a field nigger. Right?


I believe the term 'brown skinned' has done nothing but confuse us. Who created this color spectrum? If you divide complexion into three parts, isnt it only natural to divide it further? Wouldnt that make me 'dark-light skinned' or 'light-brown skinned' on the Black American Color Spectrum?

And then an even greater question arises. WHO CARES? Ive never let my complexion define me. Why is it that so many people do? I love my skin...i think its the perfect caramel blend of amazingness lol, but it does not make or break me OR the love that I have for myself.

But perhaps this same confusion about my complexion has helped me. Ive managed to maintain my jovial attitude about the whole issue. Peoples comments rarely make me mad. In fact if I do choose sides during a complexion debate 9 times out of 10 its just for fun. I dont care what people say about light, brown, or dark skinned girls because according to the categories on the Black American Color Spectrum, I dont fit into any of these places.

Im somewhere floating in the air between light and brown, in the small section where caramel would be if it were allowed into the debate.

Let me also point out that color issues are hardly just a Black American problem. Sadly this debate is seen in many other cultures as well. In fact in some cultures its not unheard of for ones family to disown an individual for being "too dark". In Indian culture darker people are viewed as stupid and extremely inferior. Dont be fooled into thinking that Black Americans are the only people who are SOC (stuck on color).

You Snooze, You Lose.

the problem is...

i cared alot when you cared a little. now that you care alot, im not sure how i feel.

hmm.

Too many chiefs, not enough Indians.

Too many chiefs, not enough Indians.

The past few weeks have been so stressful. Its so frustrating being involved with a project and not having the final say in how things are done.

LOL call me selfish...whatever. I like things done properly and efficiently.

Sitting around for hours while a hundred people try to dictate to one another....UGH!! I dont know about everyone else....but I dont have time to waste.

Im interested to see how all of this will turn out.

hmm..

The Original Bad Bitch.

Today i saw the movie "Monkey Business." An old black and white romantic comedy. I LOVED it omg! the fashion from the era was ridiculous....like seriously...if you want to know what a real bad bitch is check out some chicks from the 1950's. The hair, the clothes, the bright red lipstick..bomb.

i think what really set their style of was the way that the women carried themselves. So classy and sophisticated. They werent afraid to have a little fun. They were sexy as hell while being fully clothed. What a concept.

Marilyn Monroe was featured on the cover of this movie....she wasnt even the main character! I dont even think she was in half of the scenes..but they gave it to her because she was just that bad.

Sigh...i wonder if women will ever be able to get back to that.

Just A Pretty Face.

sometimes...its ok to just be you. nothing more nothing less.

this came into my head while i was looking through the recent albums of some of my facebook friends. i cant believe how many girls are trying to be models! album after album of you at the park or in a random room....wow.

i hate to be the bearer of bad news...but not every pretty girl can be a model. be realistic. if youre 4'8...youre not going to make it big in the fashion industry. if youre paying for all of your own photoshoots....youre not a model. and chances are...you arent going to be.

one of my facebook friends described these girls as extreme picture takers. LMAO.

by no means am i being a hater. most of the extreme picture takers i know are gorgeous. but in this case...i think its okay just to be a pretty face. its ok to be the pretty, smart lawyer...or teacher...or CEO. you dont HAVE to be "the pretty model".

idk...maybe im making a big deal over nothing. whatevs.

that ish is for the birds.

ive come to the conclusion that ive made the right decision when it comes to being a doctor.

this summer im working a regular 9-5 type job...no offense to anyone...but this shit sucks. i spend my day creating spreadsheets, making phone calls, and filing papers. it amazes me that people can do this for years and years.

dont get me wrong. i totally respect the hustle..people work hard to feed, clothe, and house their families. but it aint for everybody.

if im not spending my day doing something that i love then it sorta feels like a waste of time. i literally wake up on monday like "ok....its almost friday." thats horrible lol.

i live for sundays though. i get some personal interaction with the patients in the nursing home. i love those guys. i really do feel like im brightening up their day. (smile).

THAT is what i want to do with my life. i want to make someones day just a little bit better, and make someones life a tad bit easier. i wouldnt mind working like a slave if i was doing something i love everyday.

sigh...doctor jazmyn to the rescue. im here to save the world =]