Too many chiefs, not enough Indians.

Too many chiefs, not enough Indians.

The past few weeks have been so stressful. Its so frustrating being involved with a project and not having the final say in how things are done.

LOL call me selfish...whatever. I like things done properly and efficiently.

Sitting around for hours while a hundred people try to dictate to one another....UGH!! I dont know about everyone else....but I dont have time to waste.

Im interested to see how all of this will turn out.

hmm..

The Original Bad Bitch.

Today i saw the movie "Monkey Business." An old black and white romantic comedy. I LOVED it omg! the fashion from the era was ridiculous....like seriously...if you want to know what a real bad bitch is check out some chicks from the 1950's. The hair, the clothes, the bright red lipstick..bomb.

i think what really set their style of was the way that the women carried themselves. So classy and sophisticated. They werent afraid to have a little fun. They were sexy as hell while being fully clothed. What a concept.

Marilyn Monroe was featured on the cover of this movie....she wasnt even the main character! I dont even think she was in half of the scenes..but they gave it to her because she was just that bad.

Sigh...i wonder if women will ever be able to get back to that.

Just A Pretty Face.

sometimes...its ok to just be you. nothing more nothing less.

this came into my head while i was looking through the recent albums of some of my facebook friends. i cant believe how many girls are trying to be models! album after album of you at the park or in a random room....wow.

i hate to be the bearer of bad news...but not every pretty girl can be a model. be realistic. if youre 4'8...youre not going to make it big in the fashion industry. if youre paying for all of your own photoshoots....youre not a model. and chances are...you arent going to be.

one of my facebook friends described these girls as extreme picture takers. LMAO.

by no means am i being a hater. most of the extreme picture takers i know are gorgeous. but in this case...i think its okay just to be a pretty face. its ok to be the pretty, smart lawyer...or teacher...or CEO. you dont HAVE to be "the pretty model".

idk...maybe im making a big deal over nothing. whatevs.

that ish is for the birds.

ive come to the conclusion that ive made the right decision when it comes to being a doctor.

this summer im working a regular 9-5 type job...no offense to anyone...but this shit sucks. i spend my day creating spreadsheets, making phone calls, and filing papers. it amazes me that people can do this for years and years.

dont get me wrong. i totally respect the hustle..people work hard to feed, clothe, and house their families. but it aint for everybody.

if im not spending my day doing something that i love then it sorta feels like a waste of time. i literally wake up on monday like "ok....its almost friday." thats horrible lol.

i live for sundays though. i get some personal interaction with the patients in the nursing home. i love those guys. i really do feel like im brightening up their day. (smile).

THAT is what i want to do with my life. i want to make someones day just a little bit better, and make someones life a tad bit easier. i wouldnt mind working like a slave if i was doing something i love everyday.

sigh...doctor jazmyn to the rescue. im here to save the world =]

I Want That Old Thing Back...(i think??)

sometimes i think ill never be 100% happy like i was at one point in my life.

why am i such an ingrate? i mean...i have everything going for me. im in school, i have a great family, a couple of friends who are always there for me, wonderful sisters, the whole shabang. there are a ton of people in the world much worse off than me...right?

then why do i feel this way?

like im not getting everything i deserve from certain people and out of life in general =[

dont get me wrong i thank God everyday for how far Hes brought me and for everything Hes done for me. i dont understand how i can know all of this and STILL feel the way i do urghh.

i think my problem is..that im comparing my current life to my old life...and its not quite matching up. i thought some changes that i made were going to be for the better...but now im not so sure.

will i ever be able to get that old feeling back?

"You've Changed."

"You've changed."

i cant even COUNT how many times ive heard these words since ive crossed.

ive BEEN me. seriously...i may not fuck with you anymore...but that is not a result of me becoming an AKA. the people who have been following my blog from the very beginning know that ive been over the bullshit for a while.

ive been over the fake friends, the drama, the heart ache..and now that you've realized that i honestly dont care anymore..you think ive changed lol.

thats a problem.

not everything is about you. everyone (including myself) needs to keep that in mind when dealing with other people. youll drive yourself crazy trying to please the world.

it took me a while..but im glad that im living for myself now.

maybe i have changed....but id say its for the best.

im not acting brand new,im not arrogant,uppity,etc.. i still love the people who matter with my entire heart. but there is no room for negativity over here.

im finally embracing who ive been all along..and you should too.

..even if that means that you are now a part of my past.

everything that has happened throughout my life..all of the people [good and bad] that ive encountered have helped me grow into the person i am today.

and i thank you for that.

maybe i have changed...so what??

This has been a long time coming.

Someone to Call My Own

i think id like to be in a relationship.

"i like the whole im single, have fun, do what i want thing...but i love the whole im taken, he loves me, im his girl thing."

im not rushing anything tho. when i find the one ill know it..and it will happen on its own. but i cant wait till it does. whoever is granted the opportunity to be my hunny will probably be spoiled rotten lol.

im 20 yrs old. biologically..this is the time our bodies are searching for mates and life partners.

i dont have time for games.

if you cant see your self with me in the long run, we can be friends..but thats about it. dont waste my time.

the next time i fall in love...it will be a forever love. i promise you.