Soo last night i had an interesting conversation with one of my guy friends. He told me that every man wants a good girl..and they know when they have one.
Now, this may seem like common sense, but alot of us females lose sight of this when were caught in the moment. Ladies, he knows what he has at home. If youre true to him, he will acknowledge it. Do not Do not Do not, punish yourself for his mistakes.
If he doesnt call you...its NOT your fault. Dont spend all night stressing it [we've all done this]. Dont lose sleep wondering what it is you did wrong [guilty as charged].
Because in all honesty..niggas are niggas..and there is nothing you can do to change that. My guy friend informed me that boys just cant help themselves sometimes, they know that the things that they do are wrong, but they dont know how to stop doing them. They know that they are hurting you...but they dont know how to make it better.
"...I love my girl to death, but im just bad. Shes so good, the perfect girlfriend...i dont know why i do this to her..."
what?
A good woman will never put her relationship in jeopardy. I personally, wont even entertain other niggas when i have my number one. In our minds, nothing can compare to him...we dont need anything else. All of our love, time, devotion is just for him. Point blank.
A man however [yes there are some exceptions to the rule] thinks with his other head if you know what i mean. He has everything he could ever want and/or need in wifey..yet like wayne said, he wants to fuck every girl in the world! He knows he has his good girl at home, and he knows she'll be there waiting when he gets back.
He also dropped me a little secret. ** Ladies do not try to make your man jealous. If you know you are a good girl, chances are he does too. Dont try to make it seem like you are doing things that youre not, just to get back at him. He WILL use this against you. When you finally decide to call him out on his shit, you want to make sure that you remain the victim in the situation. He'll really feel sorry if he knows that while he was out clubbin doing God knows what, you spent a quiet night in with the girls, waiting for his call. **
My daddy always told me that you can never rush a man. And I think that I just realized what he meant. You have to trust that your man will be true to you. Dont nag him, dont yell..that will only push him farther away. If you do what youre supposed to do, eventually he will too if he really cares about you. If he doesnt, fuck it...you dont need him in your life anyway. Women always think they can change a man. Change doesnt happen over night though hunny. You can NOT make a man love you and you can NOT make him do right by you if he isnt ready.
"...once a good girls gone bad, shes gone forever..."
so, you knew you were gonna get a long response from me right? mmk...just checking lol.
ReplyDeleteso FIRST, we all have that good guy friend, I have one too...he said something very similar, however he gave me a different perspective. There are a lot of guys in college...and yes, they all say they want a good girl and yet we see them with these run down girls that aren't going to do them right or the guy is with a great girl, and he is running around trying to get it in as many times as possible--now the problem is where women stand on relationships and where men stand on relationships.
Don't kill me...lol--I can explain.
So a lot of people attribute it to en being more "physical" and women being more "emotional" and while that may be a part of it, that's not the point. If you were a guy and you weren't going to get a bad name for getting a bunch of girls and even if you did you would still get girls...wouldn't you capitalize on it? As females we say "No...I'd be faithful" but really think about it. If you had the freedom to do whatever you wanted, would you. If you had a credit card and you could buy whatever you wanted without having to really pay for it in the long run, wouldn't you go on a shopping spree? Exactly. Now with women, we look for that long term relationship that may turn into a marriage...or maybe not...but I don't know many females who are going to be like, "yeah...I wanna have a boyfriend and be serious for like...a year, and then break up," it just doesn't happen like that.
OKAY--so back to my commentary on this blog...you made a lot of good points, especially this: "He knows he has his good girl at home, and he knows she'll be there waiting when he gets back." Some girls just don't seem to realize that...and also I think that any girl that will lie about doing something to make her boyfriend jealous...or who does something to make him jealous for the sake of making him feel bad is kinda falling on the dumb side--the best thing to do is when he hurts you TELL HIM how you feel...and not in an accusing matter, but to say to him, "it hurts me when you...[blah blah blah]" because if he really cares, he'll chill out. If not--well...drop him. If he isn't willing to compromise (and remember women, WE have to be willing to compromise too) he isn't worth it in the long run anyway.
i definitely just cried inside. I feel like if God made a woman from man, shouldn't we want, feel, and act the same way. Guess not. I am in the exact same situtation where I sub-conciously push you know who. Before i met him, i had my days & now i know that i am completely commited to him. But at the same time as much as i want him to wait up for me at night, i know he won't. Hey, thats niggas tho. As we grow older, we might have to leave the nigga tendencies behind & find a MAN
ReplyDeleteOMG! i have been realizing these same exact things over the last couple of weeks while dealing with a certain dude. I feels you on this....so true....and after all was said and done i came to the same conclusion....Niggas will be Niggas, point blank period.
ReplyDeletethis is my intake.
ReplyDelete.BOYS WILL BE BOYS. when boys are young, they are quick to learn new things, run wild, act a fool, get dirty..just be a boy. they always have that desire to play and do those childish things that they used to. that desire never leaves them. they just get cuter & sexy and grown up but they are still that little boy. have you ever noticed that little boys love their mom? they adore and care for her so much. and even though they know it will hurt her, they go out in the street and do all the things their moms say not to but at the end of the day, mom will take their baby back and love them and forgive them.
so peep. i said that to say this. when this dude loves you, you will be up there with the mommy level. you're going to cook for him, love him, rub his head, tell him how proud you are of him, basically nurture him just like mom did. so he's going to do bad when he's immature but as he gets older he makes mom proud. he's going to act dumb and make bad decisions, but as he matures, he'll come to his senses and realize that you are what he needs.
and if he doesn't, then you helped him become a better man. but i feel that deep down you know when you really have a boys heart t r u l y*.
ok bianca out.
`i hope this makes sense to you as it does to me lol.
you should cut everything else out and just keep the last paragraph and Bianca spitting that real knowledge
ReplyDeletethe entire thing is ESSENTIAL to my message servontay! lol i cant cut it out!
ReplyDeleteand omgggg yes bianca is the truth.
wordddddddddd. I agree with the homie Bianca 100%. Why cant all girls be like Bianca?? I wanna play ball in the street once in a while and come home to the real thing. What i mean by play ball in the streets isnt necessarily cheating, its spaceee. I hate when girls try and change a dude. If you feel like you gotta change me why dont you find yourself a brand new dude. Probably you are going to find something you dont like about them.
ReplyDeleteJaz I'm glad u put this up!
ReplyDeleteI really needed to read this...your dad is right. you can't rush a man and you can't change them unless they want to be changed.
Thanks Girl!