Im Just a Sinner.

..and i know its wrong to want to see someone fail. and im trying not to feel this way.

but honestly. i dont want you to be happy. i feel that way from the very bottom of my heart.

it makes me sick feeling this way.

but if you denied me my fairytale, why should you have yours?!

karma karma karma.

it sucks knowing what Jesus would want you to do..knowing how He would want you to think. but not being able to change no matter how hard you try.

im just a sinner. =[

and ill pray on it. and ill try, i really will, to wish you well.

but for now it is what it is.

Power

Its so crazy to me how people feel that they have power over the lives of others.

i mean, what would make you think that you have the authority to do what only God is authorized to do--judge me.

i try not to do things to other people that i wouldnt like done to me. but its really hard. God is testing me right now. its hard for me not to anticipate the arrival of your karma.

we are too old, too grown, too busy for this.

why are adults still doing things to sabotage one another? is it jealousy?

the more that i think about it, the more that i think it is. this is beyond hating...this is pure envy. and its sad.

people who have to look for the flaws in others in order to make themselves feel good. are you threatened by me? because i am an intelligent,proud, beautiful, well rounded black woman? i dont understand.

one thing i do know is that i wont change for anybody. i will remain strong..and i will not give you the power to break me.

instead i will pray for you.

im growing in my faith, and my first lesson is on acceptance.

..day 4