Fury.

i am so totally and completely jealous of you...its ridiculous.

honestly. i dont understand why you didnt want me to be happy. you ruined our happiness. all for your own gain.

you were selfish.

but when the oppurtunity came for you to be happy...you snatched it up. you prevented me from having what you finally found.

my mother told me never to say i hate someone [she says its too strong of a word]...but i really really really fucking dislike you.

YES.

i blame YOU for EVERYTHING.

you selfish bastard.

this has been heavy on my heart for so long...and i cant hold it in any longer.

you were supposed to be his friend.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

i blame you for being so selfish. and i blame you for being such a follower.

day flippin 21.

Power

Its so crazy to me how people feel that they have power over the lives of others.

i mean, what would make you think that you have the authority to do what only God is authorized to do--judge me.

i try not to do things to other people that i wouldnt like done to me. but its really hard. God is testing me right now. its hard for me not to anticipate the arrival of your karma.

we are too old, too grown, too busy for this.

why are adults still doing things to sabotage one another? is it jealousy?

the more that i think about it, the more that i think it is. this is beyond hating...this is pure envy. and its sad.

people who have to look for the flaws in others in order to make themselves feel good. are you threatened by me? because i am an intelligent,proud, beautiful, well rounded black woman? i dont understand.

one thing i do know is that i wont change for anybody. i will remain strong..and i will not give you the power to break me.

instead i will pray for you.

im growing in my faith, and my first lesson is on acceptance.

..day 4