"You've changed."
i cant even COUNT how many times ive heard these words since ive crossed.
ive BEEN me. seriously...i may not fuck with you anymore...but that is not a result of me becoming an AKA. the people who have been following my blog from the very beginning know that ive been over the bullshit for a while.
ive been over the fake friends, the drama, the heart ache..and now that you've realized that i honestly dont care anymore..you think ive changed lol.
thats a problem.
not everything is about you. everyone (including myself) needs to keep that in mind when dealing with other people. youll drive yourself crazy trying to please the world.
it took me a while..but im glad that im living for myself now.
maybe i have changed....but id say its for the best.
im not acting brand new,im not arrogant,uppity,etc.. i still love the people who matter with my entire heart. but there is no room for negativity over here.
im finally embracing who ive been all along..and you should too.
..even if that means that you are now a part of my past.
everything that has happened throughout my life..all of the people [good and bad] that ive encountered have helped me grow into the person i am today.
and i thank you for that.
maybe i have changed...so what??
This has been a long time coming.
30.1.10
Someone to Call My Own
i think id like to be in a relationship.
"i like the whole im single, have fun, do what i want thing...but i love the whole im taken, he loves me, im his girl thing."
im not rushing anything tho. when i find the one ill know it..and it will happen on its own. but i cant wait till it does. whoever is granted the opportunity to be my hunny will probably be spoiled rotten lol.
im 20 yrs old. biologically..this is the time our bodies are searching for mates and life partners.
i dont have time for games.
if you cant see your self with me in the long run, we can be friends..but thats about it. dont waste my time.
the next time i fall in love...it will be a forever love. i promise you.
"i like the whole im single, have fun, do what i want thing...but i love the whole im taken, he loves me, im his girl thing."
im not rushing anything tho. when i find the one ill know it..and it will happen on its own. but i cant wait till it does. whoever is granted the opportunity to be my hunny will probably be spoiled rotten lol.
im 20 yrs old. biologically..this is the time our bodies are searching for mates and life partners.
i dont have time for games.
if you cant see your self with me in the long run, we can be friends..but thats about it. dont waste my time.
the next time i fall in love...it will be a forever love. i promise you.
25.11.09
The Wait.
sometimes we get caught up in the future. chasing things that havent occurred.
im sick and tired of it. no matter how fast i run, im still stuck in the present...ill never be able to catch up with the future..ever.
so im trying to live in the now...taking each day one at a time, not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow.
because time will tell everything.
all of the mysteries of today will be unraveled eventually. things will begin to make sense. the vision will get clearer.
im not saying its not hard...but i think im finally okay with waiting (not that i had a choice).
im sick and tired of it. no matter how fast i run, im still stuck in the present...ill never be able to catch up with the future..ever.
so im trying to live in the now...taking each day one at a time, not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow.
because time will tell everything.
all of the mysteries of today will be unraveled eventually. things will begin to make sense. the vision will get clearer.
im not saying its not hard...but i think im finally okay with waiting (not that i had a choice).
22.11.09
11.11.09
After Winter, Must Come Spring
this week has been surprisingly wonderful.
its much needed after experiencing the hardest week ever last week.
ive been getting such beautiful text messages lately. just little notes saying that im loved and encouraging me to have a great day. i love that! it makes me feel so special...and i really think it makes my day a whole lot brighter.
i also got a 97 on my stats test....WOOOO HOOOO!! i was totally not expecting that. i was SO stressed this weekend because i had 2 tests on monday (stats and organic chem yuckkk). I really wasnt grasping the material like i needed to, and being the over achiever that i am, it drove me crazy. i was so sad smh.
i guess its true when they say 'after winter must come spring.' last week was so dreary...i cried every single day...but it all made me strong enough to do what i need to do this week.
there is a lesson in everything.
last weeks lesson was on patience. it was about trusting God to do whats best for me and to eventually get me where i need to be, no matter how bad things seem at the moment.
im looking forward to the rest of my week being just as fabulous as these first few days have been =]
day 29.
its much needed after experiencing the hardest week ever last week.
ive been getting such beautiful text messages lately. just little notes saying that im loved and encouraging me to have a great day. i love that! it makes me feel so special...and i really think it makes my day a whole lot brighter.
i also got a 97 on my stats test....WOOOO HOOOO!! i was totally not expecting that. i was SO stressed this weekend because i had 2 tests on monday (stats and organic chem yuckkk). I really wasnt grasping the material like i needed to, and being the over achiever that i am, it drove me crazy. i was so sad smh.
i guess its true when they say 'after winter must come spring.' last week was so dreary...i cried every single day...but it all made me strong enough to do what i need to do this week.
there is a lesson in everything.
last weeks lesson was on patience. it was about trusting God to do whats best for me and to eventually get me where i need to be, no matter how bad things seem at the moment.
im looking forward to the rest of my week being just as fabulous as these first few days have been =]
day 29.
8.11.09
Im Learning.
sometimes it gets hard.
when things in my life get difficult, i look for those encouraging words. i look for someone to guide me. to tell me everythings going to be okay. to offer their advice, even if its not what i want to hear.
sometimes...i look for someone who will simply hold me when i cry. who will let me get it all out. who will listen patiently. who will make things better in the end.
im not used to being all that for myself. im not used to being my own backbone...to wiping my own tears.
but im learning.
im learning that not everyone i encounter in my lifetime will possess these qualities...no matter how badly i want them to.
im learning what it means to be my own bestfriend.
im learning to be independent.
and its hard.
so hard.
day 27.
when things in my life get difficult, i look for those encouraging words. i look for someone to guide me. to tell me everythings going to be okay. to offer their advice, even if its not what i want to hear.
sometimes...i look for someone who will simply hold me when i cry. who will let me get it all out. who will listen patiently. who will make things better in the end.
im not used to being all that for myself. im not used to being my own backbone...to wiping my own tears.
but im learning.
im learning that not everyone i encounter in my lifetime will possess these qualities...no matter how badly i want them to.
im learning what it means to be my own bestfriend.
im learning to be independent.
and its hard.
so hard.
day 27.
7.11.09
Sick.
im sick.
ive been stuck in the bed since thursday=[
i hate being sick when im away from home because theres no one to take care of me. ive been doing everything on my own and it sucks...i just want to rest.
im extra bored, and theres no one for me to talk to. i know im driving ppl crazy by texting them non stop...but a true ROD [ride or die] would put up with and entertain my nagginess.
everyday i feel a little better, but a new symptom pops up smh.
sigh.
day 26
ive been stuck in the bed since thursday=[
i hate being sick when im away from home because theres no one to take care of me. ive been doing everything on my own and it sucks...i just want to rest.
im extra bored, and theres no one for me to talk to. i know im driving ppl crazy by texting them non stop...but a true ROD [ride or die] would put up with and entertain my nagginess.
everyday i feel a little better, but a new symptom pops up smh.
sigh.
day 26
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